There are reports that Carnival's cruise ship "Carnival Miracle" experienced something highly unusual in the last 24 hours, a mutiny by passengers. Well, kind of. The ship was scheduled to sail this week from New York to ports of call in The Caribbean, but only got as far as The Bahamas. That's because there are a string of tropical storms and a category 4 potentially killer hurricane blocking the path. You would think the passengers would be grateful to the Captain, for invoking the seldom-used fine print in everyone's cruise contract, and altering the itinerary for their safety and comfort. We're not talking about thunderstorms here, these are enormous storms that have proven deadly on various islands already, and here's the most important part. Let's say the Captain got gutsy (incredibly foolish), and tried to still go to these ports. Just in the last 48 hours, hurricane Ike went from 60mph winds to 145mph, in the blink of an eye. Cruise ships in calm water have a maximum top-speed of about 22-25mph (I know, it's knots, but I'm talking to the laymen here!). However, in major swells or waves, a ship may only be able to forge ahead 4-5mph in terrible conditions. That means a storm could potentially catch a ship, engulf it, and between passengers and crew endanger the lives of nearly 5,000 souls!
Do you think the New York crowd cared about that? Lemme think..........eh NO! They piled up a mob at the Purser's Desk shouting "refund, refund", and scaring the sane passengers half to death. It gets worse. They wanted to SHOW THE CRUISE LINE WHO'S BOSS, so they all went up to the Purser's Desk and demanded that all gratuities be removed from their bills. Yes, punish the waiters and busboys and cabin stewards for your stupidity and arrogance. How absurd. It shows what weak minds led by a bully or two can do. Years ago, Cap'n Bob was Chief Purser on a ship that was supposed to go to 3 ports in Mexico on the West Coast. However, there was a huge and powerful storm off the coast of Baja Mexico that kept us from getting to any of the ports of call, for the safety of all aboard and the ship itself. Just like what happened on board the Miracle, I found myself in the Purser's Lobby facing down an angry crowd. They had made little signs and were picketing. I was tempted to come out and say "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Captain has seen your cardboard-and-crayon signs, and has decided you're right - the ship only has a value of $400,000,000 and we think it's more important for you to lay on the beach in Mazatlan in a driving wind, rain and lightning storm, and for you to be able to pick up $6 bottles of Kahlua, than to worry about things like people's lives. Therefore, the Captain has decided we're going directly into the belly of the beast. The Shore Excursion desk will re-open after lunch. Sorry we're out of Dramamine already, but you folks look like tough cookies...."
Instead, I came out and tried to explain all the REAL reasons for the Captain's actions, and of course I was shouted down by a few rowdy imbeciles. Then it happened. One of them grabbed me by the shirt collar and pushed me into a wall, and I looked at my staff and told them to SOS Security. I had not wanted to escalate the situation to that level, but yes there is an armed security detail on ships, and they arrived in about a minute after the SOS went out. I then made a second announcement to the crowd, explaining that none of their whims or whining was going to alter the fact that our priority and in fact our ONLY JOB at that point was the security and safety of all lives on board (I did it a wee bit nicer than that, but not by much). At that point, I further explained there is a Brig or prison to the nautically-challenged on board, 3 decks below water next to the ship's laundry, where it is always a comfortable 120 degrees Fahrenheit day and night. I told them I expected the lobby to be completely clear in less than 5 minutes, and expected it to remain that way for the duration of the cruise, as well as all other public areas of the ship. Anyone still remaining after 5 minutes, or caught starting another event like this would be forcibly restrained and imprisoned until we returned to Los Angeles, where they would be turned over to Federal authorities who would be charging them with International crimes at sea, including mutiny, piracy, kidnapping, and anything else they could think of to pile on.
The lobby cleared in about 3 minutes. I can tell you I was never more glad to see Sunday roll around, and the new passengers coming on board were all smiles. Just another day in paradise.
It's not widely reported, but these incidents are more common than you'd think on ships. Weather conditions can cause waves or swells, that can preclude ships from docking or anchoring in a scheduled port of call. Trust me, the cruise lines HATE THAT! Much of their profit comes from passengers buying trips ashore, and when they miss a port they know people will be disappointed, angry, and there is no profit for the company. It's a lose/lose/lose, but it comes with the territory. Having said that, anytime a paying passenger feels the least bit jilted, regardless of the circumstance, there tends to be these impromptu town meetings where people regress, converting themselves from an insurance agent and a surgeon, to Ogg and Glog, modern cavemen extraordinaire. If this is the human race, I'll meet you at the finish line.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
War and Peace
First, it was a classic Tolstoy novel. Grand and powerful. Later, Hollywood re-created various incarnations of the story, trying to achieve the same magic cinematically that the book had produced originally. By coincidence, war and peace are also 2 of the keys to the 2008 Presidential campaign. As an even further coincidence, I was able to read the original novel cover-to-cover in less time than it took to show the John McCain lead-in video at RepCon tonight. Whoah. When the video started I was 46 years old, and by the end I had become a tired 57. I think I need a shave and a haircut. But that's show biz, Republican style.
OOOPS! Apparently security was a bit lax at RepCon, as numerous protesters made their way inside during the big speech, trying to disrupt the McCain Moment. That was unexpected, sort of. I suppose these protesters are exhibiting their "rights", but sometimes just because you have a right, you can still be wrong. The 3 seconds of bogus camera time you selfishly pigged for yourselves had a total impact of SQUAT, except to your like-minded cronies and fellow self-servants. Let the man have his say. Any reader of this blog knows I disagree with most of McCain's politics, but you don't see me doing some inane jerky-dance to get on TV while he talks. Plus, Mr. and Ms. Protester, you're missing the point....it's not that you're dishonoring Mr. McCain. No, you're dishonoring hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of undecided voters who have tuned in to try to make an educated decision with their ballot. Find another way to have a voice, instead of blasting your mug across national television for a few meaningless seconds. Here's a new concept--if you disagree so vehemently, go try to do positive work for the opposition, instead of aiming for personal, meaningless face time. You're all blow and no substance, and whatever you were trying to achieve, you failed.
So the Good Senator is back speaking now, and overall it's surprisingly passive and lackluster. Quite stark by contrast to Sarah Palin last night, who at least had spark and energy, even if equally short on substance. Nothing resembling that tonight. This is a course on Reading A Teleprompter 101, and the speech itself is less engaging than your average Pastor on Sunday morning, or possibly even your local Weatherman. But I'm not just typing here....I'm taking breaks to watch and listening intently, whether out of respect or a spirit of fairness. At this point, though, he's about 40 minutes in, and I've heard no specifics. None. All rhetoric. For those who couldn't watch, here's a capsule summary:
"I'll cut taxes, my opponent will raise them." (booooooo, in unison)
"I'll create jobs, my opponent will lose them." (booooooo, in unison)
"I'll strengthen America, my opponent won't" (booooooo, in unison)
"I'm a nice man. My opponent is not nice." (boooooooo, in unison)
"I like Wheaties. My opponent hates Wheaties." (tape recording of booooos, in unison)
The bone-dry litany rolls on and on, ad infinitum, seeming more droll with each progression. Well, I tried, but he's beating me with a 30 ton wet noodle. Brave and noble he may be, but dynamic the man is not.
TOTALLY UNRELATED NOTE:
Today was the opening of the NFL season, and just watching a single game (though not a particularly well-played one) still gets the juices flowing. Yeah, Baby! The first real sign of Fall, and not a moment too soon.
OOOPS! Apparently security was a bit lax at RepCon, as numerous protesters made their way inside during the big speech, trying to disrupt the McCain Moment. That was unexpected, sort of. I suppose these protesters are exhibiting their "rights", but sometimes just because you have a right, you can still be wrong. The 3 seconds of bogus camera time you selfishly pigged for yourselves had a total impact of SQUAT, except to your like-minded cronies and fellow self-servants. Let the man have his say. Any reader of this blog knows I disagree with most of McCain's politics, but you don't see me doing some inane jerky-dance to get on TV while he talks. Plus, Mr. and Ms. Protester, you're missing the point....it's not that you're dishonoring Mr. McCain. No, you're dishonoring hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of undecided voters who have tuned in to try to make an educated decision with their ballot. Find another way to have a voice, instead of blasting your mug across national television for a few meaningless seconds. Here's a new concept--if you disagree so vehemently, go try to do positive work for the opposition, instead of aiming for personal, meaningless face time. You're all blow and no substance, and whatever you were trying to achieve, you failed.
So the Good Senator is back speaking now, and overall it's surprisingly passive and lackluster. Quite stark by contrast to Sarah Palin last night, who at least had spark and energy, even if equally short on substance. Nothing resembling that tonight. This is a course on Reading A Teleprompter 101, and the speech itself is less engaging than your average Pastor on Sunday morning, or possibly even your local Weatherman. But I'm not just typing here....I'm taking breaks to watch and listening intently, whether out of respect or a spirit of fairness. At this point, though, he's about 40 minutes in, and I've heard no specifics. None. All rhetoric. For those who couldn't watch, here's a capsule summary:
"I'll cut taxes, my opponent will raise them." (booooooo, in unison)
"I'll create jobs, my opponent will lose them." (booooooo, in unison)
"I'll strengthen America, my opponent won't" (booooooo, in unison)
"I'm a nice man. My opponent is not nice." (boooooooo, in unison)
"I like Wheaties. My opponent hates Wheaties." (tape recording of booooos, in unison)
The bone-dry litany rolls on and on, ad infinitum, seeming more droll with each progression. Well, I tried, but he's beating me with a 30 ton wet noodle. Brave and noble he may be, but dynamic the man is not.
TOTALLY UNRELATED NOTE:
Today was the opening of the NFL season, and just watching a single game (though not a particularly well-played one) still gets the juices flowing. Yeah, Baby! The first real sign of Fall, and not a moment too soon.
Scrambled Exit
Hurricane Ike continues trekking West, on a nearly unprecedented path for category 4 hurricanes in September. Often the biggies look evil, but they turn and head out to sea or even fold back on themselves and blow out with few repercussions (unless you're a tanker Cap'n trying to cross the Atlantic during such a mess). This bad boy looks different for some reason. Ike simply isn't letting up. Out in front of the storm, there are literally tens of thousands of people (or more) who have upcoming plans, or are already in destinations like the Turks & Caicos, Dominican Republic, the Bahamas, or to a lesser degree (so far) South and Central Florida. These nervous folks are reaching their arms out from their hammocks, gently feeling around underneath to see if there happens to be a PANIC BUTTON laying there. Once a big storm begins to really bear down on an island, flights become either limited or non-existent. At this point, people are scrambling looking for options, and calling their Travel Agents back home for assistance. That's what we do! Anyone who booked on the internet, good luck finding a name or contact person to help you.
Because of the super-high influx of calls, the tour operators and airlines are running on delays as well right now, so help isn't necessarily instantaneous. Still, we are working with clients all day every day to assist with just such situations. Everyone is still hoping and praying Ike heads towards the North Pole, but when prayer isn't enough, call your Travel Agent!
Because of the super-high influx of calls, the tour operators and airlines are running on delays as well right now, so help isn't necessarily instantaneous. Still, we are working with clients all day every day to assist with just such situations. Everyone is still hoping and praying Ike heads towards the North Pole, but when prayer isn't enough, call your Travel Agent!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Let's hope Ike is a Turner
Right now, the biggest threat to the continental US is not Hanna, or her sisters floating in the Atlantic, still trying to form (including Josephine). It's a very evil-looking storm named Ike, which is currently taking a path due-West across the Atlantic, on a march towards the Bahamas. Worse, it went from 60 mph to 115 mph in less than a day, so we are keeping a VERY cautious eye on it. Our best hope is that some sort of steering currents can muster themselves, to turn this storm out to sea, but right now that is a long shot. Please keep watching the news stations over the coming days, to see what path and intensity this storm takes. We sell travel destinations for a living, and don't want to see anyone put in danger ahead of these storms.
Today was the first day Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas was opened for public sale, and the booking lines were long immediately. This ship will be a floating city, and the inaugural voyage is slated for 12/12/2009, a 7-night Eastern Caribbean cruise from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Anyone insterested in booking is in for an eyebrow-raising price tag, but even at that the availability is FLYING out the door! All the talk about a stale economy, but you wouldn't know it by the people lining up to be on this ship. Believe it or not, some Holiday sailings for next year are already getting tight (particularly for families). Our advice, if you know you want this product, call now while the maximum early-booking rates still exist. They won't for long!
In RepCon news, the Republicans have brought forth their former-favorite-son-until-he-failed-to-campaign-even-a-little-and-watched-his-candidacy-crash-to-the-ground-before-it-started, Rudy Giuliani. Rudy hit the stage with 3 main tools of the trade: 1) An immediate 9/11 reminder of "do you feel safe with Obama" (shocking he'd use that for the 38,000th time), 2) a whole lot of negative jeerleading to rile up a vocal and overly-choreographed crowd, and 3) a suit that cost more than my house. Ah yes, the weapons of mass distrusting. As I scan the crowd, I see a cross-section of America. There's a distinguished older white guy, next to a young white lady holding a McCain-Palin 2008 sign. Across on the other side, I see a nice white boy in a snappy blue blazer, next to a white-haired white grandmother, tearfully wiping her eyes with an Anne Klein silk hankie, gently pulled from her Louis Vuitton handbag. But don't get me wrong, it's not just a certain demographic at the convention. I noticed the cameras specifically focused on minority participation, and they were clearly visible to anyone watching. Both of them.
Lookee here - Rudy's finally off, so I can turn the sound back on. Next up, it's tonights Entree herself, V.P. nominee Sarah Palin....looking every bit the Lois Lane to John McCain's Perry White (bet you thought I was going to say Clark Kent, but my eyesight hasn't failed THAT much yet). Opening with a biography and self-portrait, she certainly appears to be a nice sort. "These are my parents, and this is a picture of my dog, and I still save S&H Green Stamps, even though the redemption centers closed down 20 years ago....probably because of something the Democrats or Sadam Hussein did." So far she is holding her own in the spotlight, egged on by the many thousands of straw hats and cowboy hats that make up the audience. Overall, she's confident and engaging. If only she could teach that to the man at the top of the ticket. She certainly didn't hurt herself, so the RepCon Brass can breathe again.....in, out, in, out....that's it boys, keep 'er going....
In just about an hour, it will be Sep. 4th, 2008. That's Riiiiiiiiiight. Sept. 4th, which may not ring a bell with you initially, but the fact is that it has crept up slowly, and now prepares to dawn on you, me, and all God's children. Sep. 4th is the date that brings IT -- THE question, the one question that is etched into the minds of every citizen of this great land. One isolated question that overwhelms the senses, making us revalue every priority in our lives, and the lives of our families, friends and compatriots. It's the question you wish you could have asked previously, but something deep in your gut told you - NO!! This must wait. This must not be pushed or prodded or toyed with. This singular question stands tall, on its own merits, and can only be brought to the light of day on Sep. 4th, 2008. Not 1 day earlier. Not ONE MOMENT before it has manifested itself as the focal point of our collective being. You do know the question, don't you? Whaaaat? You don't know the question for Pete's sake? Well, here it is:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (see below)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (keep going)
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??!!!
Today was the first day Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas was opened for public sale, and the booking lines were long immediately. This ship will be a floating city, and the inaugural voyage is slated for 12/12/2009, a 7-night Eastern Caribbean cruise from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Anyone insterested in booking is in for an eyebrow-raising price tag, but even at that the availability is FLYING out the door! All the talk about a stale economy, but you wouldn't know it by the people lining up to be on this ship. Believe it or not, some Holiday sailings for next year are already getting tight (particularly for families). Our advice, if you know you want this product, call now while the maximum early-booking rates still exist. They won't for long!
In RepCon news, the Republicans have brought forth their former-favorite-son-until-he-failed-to-campaign-even-a-little-and-watched-his-candidacy-crash-to-the-ground-before-it-started, Rudy Giuliani. Rudy hit the stage with 3 main tools of the trade: 1) An immediate 9/11 reminder of "do you feel safe with Obama" (shocking he'd use that for the 38,000th time), 2) a whole lot of negative jeerleading to rile up a vocal and overly-choreographed crowd, and 3) a suit that cost more than my house. Ah yes, the weapons of mass distrusting. As I scan the crowd, I see a cross-section of America. There's a distinguished older white guy, next to a young white lady holding a McCain-Palin 2008 sign. Across on the other side, I see a nice white boy in a snappy blue blazer, next to a white-haired white grandmother, tearfully wiping her eyes with an Anne Klein silk hankie, gently pulled from her Louis Vuitton handbag. But don't get me wrong, it's not just a certain demographic at the convention. I noticed the cameras specifically focused on minority participation, and they were clearly visible to anyone watching. Both of them.
Lookee here - Rudy's finally off, so I can turn the sound back on. Next up, it's tonights Entree herself, V.P. nominee Sarah Palin....looking every bit the Lois Lane to John McCain's Perry White (bet you thought I was going to say Clark Kent, but my eyesight hasn't failed THAT much yet). Opening with a biography and self-portrait, she certainly appears to be a nice sort. "These are my parents, and this is a picture of my dog, and I still save S&H Green Stamps, even though the redemption centers closed down 20 years ago....probably because of something the Democrats or Sadam Hussein did." So far she is holding her own in the spotlight, egged on by the many thousands of straw hats and cowboy hats that make up the audience. Overall, she's confident and engaging. If only she could teach that to the man at the top of the ticket. She certainly didn't hurt herself, so the RepCon Brass can breathe again.....in, out, in, out....that's it boys, keep 'er going....
In just about an hour, it will be Sep. 4th, 2008. That's Riiiiiiiiiight. Sept. 4th, which may not ring a bell with you initially, but the fact is that it has crept up slowly, and now prepares to dawn on you, me, and all God's children. Sep. 4th is the date that brings IT -- THE question, the one question that is etched into the minds of every citizen of this great land. One isolated question that overwhelms the senses, making us revalue every priority in our lives, and the lives of our families, friends and compatriots. It's the question you wish you could have asked previously, but something deep in your gut told you - NO!! This must wait. This must not be pushed or prodded or toyed with. This singular question stands tall, on its own merits, and can only be brought to the light of day on Sep. 4th, 2008. Not 1 day earlier. Not ONE MOMENT before it has manifested itself as the focal point of our collective being. You do know the question, don't you? Whaaaat? You don't know the question for Pete's sake? Well, here it is:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (see below)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (keep going)
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??!!!
"General, take us to RepCon 3"
REPublican CONvention, Day 3. Time to discuss the 28th Amendment to the Constitution. For those government scholars among you who are saying "Whoa! Ain't no such thing, dude." (surprisingly, that's how many government scholars talk), that's EXACTLY why I'm bringing it up. It's time to add a 28th Amendment. In recent American history, there has been a notable President/wife duo...let's call them Billary without using their real names...who sought to lead our nation from the big chair. Right or wrong, it didn't work out so well. Possibly because one completed 2 terms, and the other tried to follow later.
There is another scenario that is not-yet-tried, and that's why Cap'n Bob is proposing a 28th Amendment. It would read something like this:
"If the People, following a general election, realize they had made a massive error in judgement in filling the big chair, but did not want to put the Nation through the grind of an impeachment process, it is their right under the Constitution of these United States to consider the spouse of said sitting official as a replacement for same. The process would be for a majority of the People to file Government Form GWB-OUT, filed through the individual States of the constituents. Once a majority has been established, Congress must bring a vote before the Electorate within 30 days (not business days -- when you're talking about Congress, that could be more than a year). A re-vote date is to be set Nationwide, and every Citizen is allowed to vote except those in Palm Beach and Volusia counties in Florida, since their votes pretty much don't count historically." (see Nov. 2000)
The reason I bring this concept for your perusal is because of a very strong person in the Republican party. In my opinion, the strongest I've seen since Reagan. Her longtime friends know her as the former Laura Welch, but most of you know her as our current First Lady. Last night at the convention, she once again personified class, strength, calm, dignity, intelligence, reason, and in a nutshell would be a tremendous representative of We, the People. She brings all the qualities we're missing at the top. Every interview, every photo op, every time the woman speaks -- people listen. Had my proposed 28th Amendment been ratified previously, we easily could have had our first woman President by early 2002. The sitting Prez has an approval rating of around 20 (think about it for a minute - that means NEGATIVE 80!), but Laura Bush has very few if any detractors, an approval rating almost exactly the opposite of her spouse, and has the demeanor to do the job. Last night, I found myself listening to her and enjoying her on-screen time, even though I don't share her party's or hubby's politics in general, or those proposed by Senator McCain. But I was trying to be un-biased and fair to hear the opposing viewpoint to the best of my ability.
Enter The Wizard of Odd. After the refreshing Mrs. Bush set an elegant tone, suddenly there was this giant head hovering on the wall above the conventioneers. The man-behind-the-curtain-effect was staggering, particularly after watching great in-person speeches by Democrats last week. Gustav messed up the 1st day of RepCon for sure, but having George W do a satellite feed was an abysmal idea at every level. Instead of sounding like a sincere endorsement, it came across more like "I'd be there if I didn't have this big golf game in the morning with Karl Rove, but McCain's my guy, you betcha, yep, yessirree". Once the idea of The Wizard squeezed itself into my pea brain, it kept going (imagine that). I found myself whistling If I Only Had A Brain, and If I Only Had A Heart. Freudian? Most certainly.
Thankfully the big talking head didn't last that long, so I was ready to see who would lead the positive parade forward for the Republicans. "In the criminal justice system", they bring on the distinguished Senator from Tennessee, who looked like he was painted up for a Volonteers' football game. I've never seen such orange makeup. CORRECTION: Actually, I have, but not on a big guy. The last time I saw that particular color on a human face was 1971's Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. All the Oompa Loompas were that same color, but they had green wigs on. Fred Thompson thankfully remained wigless, but carried the orange across his face, forehead, over the Summit, back down the nape and inside his suit. MAN that guy had an orange head!! So, you ask, is that what distracted you from what he had to say? No, it was the fact that although he came out in attack-dog mode, he would clear his throat after every sentence. Oh my. Takes me back to my college days. We had a substitute teacher for a week, and after everything she said there was a loud, gutteral "ahem". It became such a class joke after the 1st day, all us students took out a piece of paper, and every time an ahem came along we'd make a little click mark on the page. You know, the little 4 sticks across like llll, and then one / to make 5? Yeah, that thing. Turns out, in a 1-hour class, this teacher broke triple figures. 119 ahems. Just shy of 2 per minute. Because Fred Thompson took me back to that exact place and time, I can't tell you anything else he said last night. Blah blah ahem blah blah ahem blah blah ahem, etc. But I'm sure it was rousing and on point, and quite the attack, because everyone cheered and applauded. Meanwhile, I just found myself lllllll and //// the rest of the evening. I went to bed before Benedict Lieberman came on, so I can't really comment on his new 15 minutes in the limelight.
Be honest. Who among you wouldn't have put Laura Bush in the White House big chair if it had really been possible? "Just close your eyes, click your heels together 3 times, and......you've had the power all along, my dear....."
Holland America cruise line made an interesting announcement over the past 24 hours. They decided to raise their onboard tips from $10 per person per day to $11 pppd. No explanation on why this happened, or who gets the extra buck...just thank you so much for the money. If history is any indication, and it usually is, this is just a "tester" by Holland's parent company Carnival to see if people go ballistic or just accept it. If they accept it, the extra 100 pennies is likely to be rolled out on Princess, Carnival and the rest of their product line. So if any of you Holland America passengers feel like GOING BALLISTIC, feel free to call them and voice your concerns. It's highly unlikely that dollar is being split amongst your waiter, busboy and cabin steward, but then again I'm suspicious by nature.
Meanwhile, Hanna, Ike and Josephine on the heels of Gustav are making this one of the most active tropical weeks in recent memory. There have been many times 3 or 4 named storms are out there, but a few usually veer off into oblivion (that's near Portugal). This time, there is a steady march West, like there's some sort of macabre weather gold rush going on around Cuba. It's not that there are so many storms early. We haven't even gotten to "K" yet, but 3 years ago Katrina had already come and gone by this time. It's that there are so many at one time, all headed ominously on a similar path, that is a bit scary for anyone near the water. The entire Eastern seaboard needs to keep alert over the next week, at a minimum. Las Vegas never looked better than getting out of Dodge next weekend.
There is another scenario that is not-yet-tried, and that's why Cap'n Bob is proposing a 28th Amendment. It would read something like this:
"If the People, following a general election, realize they had made a massive error in judgement in filling the big chair, but did not want to put the Nation through the grind of an impeachment process, it is their right under the Constitution of these United States to consider the spouse of said sitting official as a replacement for same. The process would be for a majority of the People to file Government Form GWB-OUT, filed through the individual States of the constituents. Once a majority has been established, Congress must bring a vote before the Electorate within 30 days (not business days -- when you're talking about Congress, that could be more than a year). A re-vote date is to be set Nationwide, and every Citizen is allowed to vote except those in Palm Beach and Volusia counties in Florida, since their votes pretty much don't count historically." (see Nov. 2000)
The reason I bring this concept for your perusal is because of a very strong person in the Republican party. In my opinion, the strongest I've seen since Reagan. Her longtime friends know her as the former Laura Welch, but most of you know her as our current First Lady. Last night at the convention, she once again personified class, strength, calm, dignity, intelligence, reason, and in a nutshell would be a tremendous representative of We, the People. She brings all the qualities we're missing at the top. Every interview, every photo op, every time the woman speaks -- people listen. Had my proposed 28th Amendment been ratified previously, we easily could have had our first woman President by early 2002. The sitting Prez has an approval rating of around 20 (think about it for a minute - that means NEGATIVE 80!), but Laura Bush has very few if any detractors, an approval rating almost exactly the opposite of her spouse, and has the demeanor to do the job. Last night, I found myself listening to her and enjoying her on-screen time, even though I don't share her party's or hubby's politics in general, or those proposed by Senator McCain. But I was trying to be un-biased and fair to hear the opposing viewpoint to the best of my ability.
Enter The Wizard of Odd. After the refreshing Mrs. Bush set an elegant tone, suddenly there was this giant head hovering on the wall above the conventioneers. The man-behind-the-curtain-effect was staggering, particularly after watching great in-person speeches by Democrats last week. Gustav messed up the 1st day of RepCon for sure, but having George W do a satellite feed was an abysmal idea at every level. Instead of sounding like a sincere endorsement, it came across more like "I'd be there if I didn't have this big golf game in the morning with Karl Rove, but McCain's my guy, you betcha, yep, yessirree". Once the idea of The Wizard squeezed itself into my pea brain, it kept going (imagine that). I found myself whistling If I Only Had A Brain, and If I Only Had A Heart. Freudian? Most certainly.
Thankfully the big talking head didn't last that long, so I was ready to see who would lead the positive parade forward for the Republicans. "In the criminal justice system", they bring on the distinguished Senator from Tennessee, who looked like he was painted up for a Volonteers' football game. I've never seen such orange makeup. CORRECTION: Actually, I have, but not on a big guy. The last time I saw that particular color on a human face was 1971's Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory. All the Oompa Loompas were that same color, but they had green wigs on. Fred Thompson thankfully remained wigless, but carried the orange across his face, forehead, over the Summit, back down the nape and inside his suit. MAN that guy had an orange head!! So, you ask, is that what distracted you from what he had to say? No, it was the fact that although he came out in attack-dog mode, he would clear his throat after every sentence. Oh my. Takes me back to my college days. We had a substitute teacher for a week, and after everything she said there was a loud, gutteral "ahem". It became such a class joke after the 1st day, all us students took out a piece of paper, and every time an ahem came along we'd make a little click mark on the page. You know, the little 4 sticks across like llll, and then one / to make 5? Yeah, that thing. Turns out, in a 1-hour class, this teacher broke triple figures. 119 ahems. Just shy of 2 per minute. Because Fred Thompson took me back to that exact place and time, I can't tell you anything else he said last night. Blah blah ahem blah blah ahem blah blah ahem, etc. But I'm sure it was rousing and on point, and quite the attack, because everyone cheered and applauded. Meanwhile, I just found myself lllllll and //// the rest of the evening. I went to bed before Benedict Lieberman came on, so I can't really comment on his new 15 minutes in the limelight.
Be honest. Who among you wouldn't have put Laura Bush in the White House big chair if it had really been possible? "Just close your eyes, click your heels together 3 times, and......you've had the power all along, my dear....."
Holland America cruise line made an interesting announcement over the past 24 hours. They decided to raise their onboard tips from $10 per person per day to $11 pppd. No explanation on why this happened, or who gets the extra buck...just thank you so much for the money. If history is any indication, and it usually is, this is just a "tester" by Holland's parent company Carnival to see if people go ballistic or just accept it. If they accept it, the extra 100 pennies is likely to be rolled out on Princess, Carnival and the rest of their product line. So if any of you Holland America passengers feel like GOING BALLISTIC, feel free to call them and voice your concerns. It's highly unlikely that dollar is being split amongst your waiter, busboy and cabin steward, but then again I'm suspicious by nature.
Meanwhile, Hanna, Ike and Josephine on the heels of Gustav are making this one of the most active tropical weeks in recent memory. There have been many times 3 or 4 named storms are out there, but a few usually veer off into oblivion (that's near Portugal). This time, there is a steady march West, like there's some sort of macabre weather gold rush going on around Cuba. It's not that there are so many storms early. We haven't even gotten to "K" yet, but 3 years ago Katrina had already come and gone by this time. It's that there are so many at one time, all headed ominously on a similar path, that is a bit scary for anyone near the water. The entire Eastern seaboard needs to keep alert over the next week, at a minimum. Las Vegas never looked better than getting out of Dodge next weekend.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Windies and Howlers
As you've seen on TV, the tropical washing machine known as The Caribbean Sea is churning all over the place. Welcome to September, the peak month historically for that sort of thing. It's one of the main reasons why we strongly urge people to purchase travel insurance, just in case plans change at the last minute due to Mother Nature. But if you have found yourself with some vacation days to use up this month, it might be a very good time to look at an alternate destination instead of just thinking islands....they are SO vulnerable to weather. I'm actually flying to Las Vegas in mid-September. It's not too overblown with conventions at that time, the worst heat of the Summer has passed, and my favorite part is it's FOOTBALL SEASON. And it's still baseball season as well, so for you sports enthusiasts (a.k.a. gamblers), September is the creme de la creme for visiting Vegas.
Yesterday the National media got into its "yes we wear suits, but we're just paparazzi" mode. I was glad to see Mr. Obama and Mr. McCain deflect reporters' requests to dig dirt on Sarah Palin's daughter. Whether you like or respect either man's politics, you have to respect the fact they have both ruled each other's families off-limits. As it should be. My brother and I are so totally different, I'm sure neither of us would be comfortable answering for the actions of the other, so hooray for sanity. It's been in short supply recently.
One of my favorite cruise lines for many years has been Celebrity Cruises. They provide an excellent value for the money, but over the last few years they have fallen behind most of the other cruise lines in one area - building new ships. It was ok for a year or two, but that stretched into 3 years, 4, 5, 6 and suddenly their fleet was growing a gray beard by today's standards. Not that their ships aren't still fabulous, but just like a car there is a difference between a 1996 BMW and a 2009 BMW. People like new and shiny. So it's great to see them coming out with new products at the end of 2008 and into next year....plus they are booking rapidly! Word is spreading that this excellent cruise line has new and shiny too, just like the competition. If you want to experience the new Celebrity Equinox or Solstice, don't wait thinking you're going to get a better value later on. 99% of the time that is mythology when it comes to brand new ships! Right now, you can get the maximum early-booking savings on many voyages, so grab your credit card and call or email me right away.
Yesterday Gustav missed a direct hit, and oil prices took another tumble. They're getting down near double-digits for the first time in a long time. Why is it that I still feel like a marionette in the hands of these oil-trading thugs? Next week, the threat of other storms is going to ping-pong the price up again, then hopefully down, but meanwhile some Wall Street snipers are getting rich playing with the pricing, and placing bets on the levels and speed of the up-downs. When everyone is struggling, that ought to be criminalized. I know, I just sound like a cranky old motor, but it ticks me off that the fortunate few are laughing at the unfortunate masses. What goes around comes around, and I hope one of them comes around my bow when I have this thing full throttle. We'll see who's a laughing hyena then.
Yesterday the National media got into its "yes we wear suits, but we're just paparazzi" mode. I was glad to see Mr. Obama and Mr. McCain deflect reporters' requests to dig dirt on Sarah Palin's daughter. Whether you like or respect either man's politics, you have to respect the fact they have both ruled each other's families off-limits. As it should be. My brother and I are so totally different, I'm sure neither of us would be comfortable answering for the actions of the other, so hooray for sanity. It's been in short supply recently.
One of my favorite cruise lines for many years has been Celebrity Cruises. They provide an excellent value for the money, but over the last few years they have fallen behind most of the other cruise lines in one area - building new ships. It was ok for a year or two, but that stretched into 3 years, 4, 5, 6 and suddenly their fleet was growing a gray beard by today's standards. Not that their ships aren't still fabulous, but just like a car there is a difference between a 1996 BMW and a 2009 BMW. People like new and shiny. So it's great to see them coming out with new products at the end of 2008 and into next year....plus they are booking rapidly! Word is spreading that this excellent cruise line has new and shiny too, just like the competition. If you want to experience the new Celebrity Equinox or Solstice, don't wait thinking you're going to get a better value later on. 99% of the time that is mythology when it comes to brand new ships! Right now, you can get the maximum early-booking savings on many voyages, so grab your credit card and call or email me right away.
Yesterday Gustav missed a direct hit, and oil prices took another tumble. They're getting down near double-digits for the first time in a long time. Why is it that I still feel like a marionette in the hands of these oil-trading thugs? Next week, the threat of other storms is going to ping-pong the price up again, then hopefully down, but meanwhile some Wall Street snipers are getting rich playing with the pricing, and placing bets on the levels and speed of the up-downs. When everyone is struggling, that ought to be criminalized. I know, I just sound like a cranky old motor, but it ticks me off that the fortunate few are laughing at the unfortunate masses. What goes around comes around, and I hope one of them comes around my bow when I have this thing full throttle. We'll see who's a laughing hyena then.
Monday, September 1, 2008
I RED it somewhere...
Happy Labor Day, and I hope you had a nice time grilling your doohickies and whatsits with your families today. I woke up this morning in a so-so mood, and climbed out of my bunk to read the latest on Evil Gustav. Although I did eventually find the storm details, something else caught my eye on the side of the page first. Turns out, I used to be a pretty fair musician in my day, and rock roots run deep. I saw this little picture of a frizzy/curly haired older gent, but I still recognized him as the Crimson Warrior himself.....yes, the Red Rocker, Sammy Hagar. He of the red hair, red outfits, red guitar, who once penned a song called "Red". Need I say more? Hard rock guitarist & vocalist extraordinaire, some younger folk only know him as the guy who was in Van Halen for a while, but trust me he goes back 2 decades earlier, and still tours with his Cabo Wabo band, rockin' the house.
ANY house.
So what has this got to do with anything you ask? A little impatient on the holiday weekend, aren't we? Anyway, here's the thing. Just the other day I was reading about a professional football player (Anquan Boldin), who makes millions of dollars a year. He is threatening to sit out the season or force a trade, because his fellow wide receiver teammate was given a few more millions than he. By coincidence, his teammate just happens to catch more passes, doesn't have a "me first" attitude, and has remained healthy the last few years while Boldin keeps sitting out with nicks and various injuries, in addition to being a pathetic whiner. Still - Boldin makes MILLIONS of $$$$ a year! Back to Sammy Hagar. Sammy has done well in the music industry. We all know that artists are lucky to make 3-5% after agent fees, expenses and the enormous percentage taken by record companies, promoters and distributors. Still, Sammy ain't poor. Having said that, he decided to invest in something he knows extremely well, one of his personal hobbies. Guitars you ask? No. Motorcycles? Small aircraft? Fancy schmancy golf clubs? Maybe a radio station? Eh, not even close. Sammy invested in Tequila. And keeping with the pattern his band even has a song he penned called "Mas Tequila" (more Tequila!). Turns out it was the right move at the right time, and he recently sold off his shares in the company for a tidy profit.
Being an entrepreneurial spirit (thank you Spell Check), Sammy decided against just sticking the money in the bank, and sitting on his laurels. Or his cacti, or whatever he sits on. No, he reinvested it and has opened up an airport restaurant in Maui, called "Sammy's Beach Bar & Grill". The walls are adorned with autographed Sammy and Van Halen memorabilia, with rock music cranking and a very un-stuffy atmosphere. He wanted tourists to know immediately they were in Hawaii, and it was time to get casual. OK ALREADY....I'm getting to the point, if you'd please un-wad your undies. Keep pushin' me and I'll have you swabbing the decks for the rest of your hitch!
Here's the thing that makes this special, and put me in a great holiday mood today. Turns out, Sammy is taking the proceeds from this restaurant, and donating them to local childrens' charities in Maui, through the Hagar Family Foundation. When asked why, he explained "Buddhist theory....do something good, and something good will happen to you." I gotta tell you, the world needs a few more Red Rockers. He'll be opening another airport restaurant in Las Vegas soon, and whether he donates those profits or keeps them, I still salute you Sammy, even if you can't drive 55.
Looks like New Orleans did pretty well today. Projections were for Gustav to develop into at least a category 4 before landfall, but thankfully it picked up speed instead of intensifying, and moved through as a big wind event, but nothing like Katrina. Let's hope the residents don't take it as "crying wolf", and next time they stay put, when it could go as badly as this one went well.
This weekend was The Cap'n's birthday. I won't tell you my age, but my favorite meal as a young 'un was Brontosaurus meat over hot rocks. (Homer Simpson voice): "Mmmmmm, TRE-Mendous." I opened up my birthday present, and guess what I got. No really, guess. It's a gadget! Apparently it plays music, but I'm still confused by the name. It's a little square thing about 2 inches across, but they call it an eye pod. Call me crazy, but I'm thinking any famous inventor trying to make an eye pod would make it kind of roundy, or ovally or something. Thomas Alva Edison would be rolling over in his grave (he is dead, isn't he? I haven't seen him on Jimmy Kimmel Live recently). But I'm a big fan of technology, especially when I can find a pre-pubescent kid to help explain it to me. Thus my trip to the Apple store today. Apple is the brand name. I got that, so it wasn't like I was embarrassed to go in, thinking they sold Apples or something. Just because I'm old and a bit ill-tempered doesn't make me stupid. I walked around for a few minutes, trying not to look out of my element (although the sailor pants and pea coat may have been a giveaway). Suddenly, there he was. Some kid who could be at least my grandson, with an Apple name badge. I had reached Nirvana. I tried to fake my way through or around a question on how to get my eye pod to play songs for me, and he spoke in the comforting tones of a person who has done this sort of thing all his life. All 8 or 9 years of it. Theoretically, I fooled him into thinking I knew MOST of it, and he was just filling in the blanks. I thanked him for his time, but as I strolled out of the store, I knew better than to look back. Ask Lot's wife what happens when you do that. I'm a salty enough dog as it is......
ANY house.
So what has this got to do with anything you ask? A little impatient on the holiday weekend, aren't we? Anyway, here's the thing. Just the other day I was reading about a professional football player (Anquan Boldin), who makes millions of dollars a year. He is threatening to sit out the season or force a trade, because his fellow wide receiver teammate was given a few more millions than he. By coincidence, his teammate just happens to catch more passes, doesn't have a "me first" attitude, and has remained healthy the last few years while Boldin keeps sitting out with nicks and various injuries, in addition to being a pathetic whiner. Still - Boldin makes MILLIONS of $$$$ a year! Back to Sammy Hagar. Sammy has done well in the music industry. We all know that artists are lucky to make 3-5% after agent fees, expenses and the enormous percentage taken by record companies, promoters and distributors. Still, Sammy ain't poor. Having said that, he decided to invest in something he knows extremely well, one of his personal hobbies. Guitars you ask? No. Motorcycles? Small aircraft? Fancy schmancy golf clubs? Maybe a radio station? Eh, not even close. Sammy invested in Tequila. And keeping with the pattern his band even has a song he penned called "Mas Tequila" (more Tequila!). Turns out it was the right move at the right time, and he recently sold off his shares in the company for a tidy profit.
Being an entrepreneurial spirit (thank you Spell Check), Sammy decided against just sticking the money in the bank, and sitting on his laurels. Or his cacti, or whatever he sits on. No, he reinvested it and has opened up an airport restaurant in Maui, called "Sammy's Beach Bar & Grill". The walls are adorned with autographed Sammy and Van Halen memorabilia, with rock music cranking and a very un-stuffy atmosphere. He wanted tourists to know immediately they were in Hawaii, and it was time to get casual. OK ALREADY....I'm getting to the point, if you'd please un-wad your undies. Keep pushin' me and I'll have you swabbing the decks for the rest of your hitch!
Here's the thing that makes this special, and put me in a great holiday mood today. Turns out, Sammy is taking the proceeds from this restaurant, and donating them to local childrens' charities in Maui, through the Hagar Family Foundation. When asked why, he explained "Buddhist theory....do something good, and something good will happen to you." I gotta tell you, the world needs a few more Red Rockers. He'll be opening another airport restaurant in Las Vegas soon, and whether he donates those profits or keeps them, I still salute you Sammy, even if you can't drive 55.
Looks like New Orleans did pretty well today. Projections were for Gustav to develop into at least a category 4 before landfall, but thankfully it picked up speed instead of intensifying, and moved through as a big wind event, but nothing like Katrina. Let's hope the residents don't take it as "crying wolf", and next time they stay put, when it could go as badly as this one went well.
This weekend was The Cap'n's birthday. I won't tell you my age, but my favorite meal as a young 'un was Brontosaurus meat over hot rocks. (Homer Simpson voice): "Mmmmmm, TRE-Mendous." I opened up my birthday present, and guess what I got. No really, guess. It's a gadget! Apparently it plays music, but I'm still confused by the name. It's a little square thing about 2 inches across, but they call it an eye pod. Call me crazy, but I'm thinking any famous inventor trying to make an eye pod would make it kind of roundy, or ovally or something. Thomas Alva Edison would be rolling over in his grave (he is dead, isn't he? I haven't seen him on Jimmy Kimmel Live recently). But I'm a big fan of technology, especially when I can find a pre-pubescent kid to help explain it to me. Thus my trip to the Apple store today. Apple is the brand name. I got that, so it wasn't like I was embarrassed to go in, thinking they sold Apples or something. Just because I'm old and a bit ill-tempered doesn't make me stupid. I walked around for a few minutes, trying not to look out of my element (although the sailor pants and pea coat may have been a giveaway). Suddenly, there he was. Some kid who could be at least my grandson, with an Apple name badge. I had reached Nirvana. I tried to fake my way through or around a question on how to get my eye pod to play songs for me, and he spoke in the comforting tones of a person who has done this sort of thing all his life. All 8 or 9 years of it. Theoretically, I fooled him into thinking I knew MOST of it, and he was just filling in the blanks. I thanked him for his time, but as I strolled out of the store, I knew better than to look back. Ask Lot's wife what happens when you do that. I'm a salty enough dog as it is......
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