Be Careful What You Eat!

Earlier today, I read a report about a new baggage charge from Delta Airlines. You'll recall that in recent months, Delta gobbled up Northwest Airlines in a highly-touted merger. So how's that working for them? For the 1st quarter of 2009 they reported a loss of $794Million dollars. US money. Greenbacks (or in this case, Redbacks). Their response to this was to announce that as of July 1st, there will be a new $50 fee for most passengers to check a 2nd bag on international flights. Delta already charges fees on 1st and 2nd bags for domestic travel, so this is new to their world-wide audience. The Atlanta-based airline was quoted as saying they expect to generate "$100Millon dollars annually" from the new fee. Hmmmm. It ain't been that long since Old Cappie was in High School, and I was always pretty adept at cyphering Math. Lemme see here...where's my crayon. OK so in the IN box we're putting $100Million dollars. In the OUT box, for the first quarter we put $794Million. Now for those of you not-so-good at fractions, the first "quarter" means you have to multiply by 4 to get an annual figure. So we take that $794Million X 4 and we have our OUT box chalk-full with 3Billion, 176Million in losses. But wait a minute - did you forget you have a "credit" in the IN box? Do your subtraction, and you'll get an OUT box leaking $3Billion, $76Million down the tubes. Man, these guys are good! You'd almost have to work for the US Congress to come up with those kinds of figures. Do you smell what the Cap'n is cooking? I'm thinking when it comes to my Schwab account, there won't be any Delta Airlines shares any time soon. I'm still thinking of investing in White Star Cruise Line - they have a big ship I heard about called Titanic...

It really hasn't been a good week for airlines. Continental had a mishap when they hit some severe turbulence over the weekend, and a woman who was in the plane's restroom was thrown around and paralyzed with a broken neck. The flight was from Houston to McAllen Texas, and at the time of the incident the FASTEN SEAT BELTS signs were illuminated. It was truly an accident, and maybe she couldn't wait, but those signs are there for a reason. Hopefully this is just temporary and she will make a full recovery. Same for the airlines!

One of our favorite suppliers, USAirways Vacations, just announced a new promotion (effective immediately and running ONLY through this Friday, April 24th). Trip insurance for .01cent. That's no misprint, folks. Normally to protect your travel investment, the "cancel-for-any-reason" insurance will run you $49.00 - $69.00 per person, but for all new bookings this week they are giving you the chance to protect your investment for a penny-a-person! Amazing opportunity, and the timeframe is extremely limited as you see. Trips must be booked and deposited this week, and travel dates are from June 1st to Dec. 16th. So C-A-L-L ME right now to take advantage of this. Don't procrastinate any longer!

Here's a YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK story.... The National Nuclear Security Administration has postponed a crucial program, to rejuvenate 25-year-old Trident missile warheads. Why? Because no one can remember how to make one of the key components, according to a report from the Government Accountability Office. The GAO found that the NNSA could not replicate the manufacturing process because all personnel who had that knowledge have been fired, retired, or have left the agency one way or another. No written records were ever kept, due to its classified nature. Said one senior official, "This is like Mission Impossible, where the voice says 'this tape will self-destruct in 5 seconds' once good guy heard it, only this time it's not make-believe and the good guys are nowhere to be found."

Massachusetts officials have agreed to correct spelling errors in road signs, pointing to a lake that has a 45-letter name. Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg in Webster, Mass has one of the world's longest place names. It's been spelled many different ways over the years, but most locals have given up and simply call it "Lake Webster." After researching historical spelling combinations, the Worcester Telegram & Gazette said local Chamber of Commerce officials agreed that some of the signs were wrong. There was an "o" at letter 20 where a "u" should have been, and an "h" at letter 38 where an "n" should go. And you would know this because...?
If this is what print reporters have to write about, it's small wonder that so many newspapers are going under.

"Yeah, I'll have a Big Filibuster and some fries please"

A politician in northeastern Pennsylvania has been getting some ribbing from his colleagues for it, but he said having a drive-through window at his office is working great. State Representative Kevin Murphy created a drive-through window in his office in Scranton, to make it easier for his constituents to see him. He said senior citizens, the disabled and those who have children in the car especially like the convenience of not having to walk into the office. Murphy is a first-term Democrat, who personally staffs the drive-through most Thursdays and Fridays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. That's change I can believe in. I believe I'll have a large Diet Coke with that, too. And extra ketchup. And lots of napkins - I'm a slob.