Friday, August 21, 2009

Mr.Bill - Ohhh NOOOoooo!

Don't worry, the lovable Play-Doh character from Saturday Night Live isn't in any danger. Neither is the US mainland, except for serious tides and rip-currents emanating from Mr. Bill's namesake Hurricane Bill, twisting away in the Atlantic. The little dot on your map that is Bermuda is also breathing a sigh of relief, as the storm is going to pass at least a couple of hundred miles away. No direct hit, and that's a good thing. Hurricanes and tropical storms are a way of life on this island nation, though they are no more immune than anywhere else to property damage, should they take a direct hit. Fortunately for them, it's been a while since they've seen and lived a monster. But in the dog days of August, with the Caribbean and Atlantic churning into action, it reminds you of WHY a good travel agent will recommend vacations or cruises outside the "hurricane belt" whenever possible. At least when it's the height of storm seasonality. For my clients whose vacation falls in that cross-hairs time of year, particularly July through October, I try to offer safe choices. Realistically speaking, nothing is 100% safe or weatherproof. Not Aruba, not Costa Rica, not Southwest Mexico. Nothing is perfect, but you should play your best odds. It's like when you're in Vegas playing blackjack: You've got 19, and the dealer has a King showing. Would you really say "hit me" trying to pull an ace or deuce, to theoretically tie or win against his supposed-20? Trust me, the House hopes you do just that! That's bucking the odds big-time. There's an old saying "How do you make money in a Casino? BUY one!" I'm more a believer in sticking to a plan where the odds are in my favor, and those of my clients. That's particularly true if you're one of those people who only gets one week a year for vacation, and this is it. It's imperative to get the most for your money, with the least amount of risk. That kind of knowledge is my specialty, and it's what I do every day. Contact me any time for travel advice or pricing.

If you follow this blog, you know I've been all over the people and politicians of Alaska, who allowed greed and ignorance to ruin their cash-cow cruise and tourism business. This morning's USAToday has some rather startling figures, which completely back up what I have been ranting about (I mean discussing). The new 2010 projections, based on the number of cruise ships NOT returning next season, is 140,000 fewer passengers than 2009, and 2009 was a bad year. The economic impact? Let's look at just ONE ITEM: the $50 per person Alaska Tax (head tax on visitors brought to Alaska by ship). If you don't have your handy-dandy pocket calculator around, just the head tax by itself means $7-million less for the Great White North. Each cruise ship passenger averages about $400 per person in shore excursions, too. That's another $56-million. How much do cruise passengers buy in souvenirs, gifts, and need purchases? There's no dollar figure here, but it's a bunch! And then there's meals. And drinks. And all the service personnel whose businesses rely on supplying all these various things. It wouldn't surprise me to see Alaska tank about 1/4 of a BILLION dollars when it's all said and done. That'll put a lot more Alaskans out of work, and onto the welfare lines. So Mr. and Mrs. Alaska, if you're looking to place blame somewhere as your state tips belly-up, my suggestion is go to the store and buy a mirror. There should be some whopping-good sales coming, just around the corner....

6-PACK ABS?

The results of a beer study from Spain were recently released, and they show that of nearly 1,700 women who participated, the bone density in regular drinkers improved, over that of the non-drinkers. The collected data seems to imply that plant hormones in the beer, rather than the alcohol, may be responsible for the increase in bone density. Experts still urge caution, warning that drinking more than two units of alcohol a day can potentially harm bone health.
"Hey bartender - can we get a couple more units over here? Yeah, my wife is trying to kick the once-a-month Boniva habit."

Bone Appetit (part II)?

The University of Edinburgh (Scotland UK) has also been doing osteoporosis research. New results show that Cannabis may strengthen bones in older people, despite research which suggests it does the opposite in younger users. That's Cannabis as in Marijuana, Grass, Ganja, Loco Weed, Whacky Tobbacky, Woodstock Wheeze or whatever name you know it by. It's important to note that this study was not performed by your typical group of aging hippies, looking to find Karma and a legitimate reason to hit the bong on a regular basis. This was a highly-respected Scottish University research team. They found that in older people, the Cannabis activates a molecule found naturally in the body, which when dormant is key to the development of osteoporosis. CB1 is a type of "Cannabinoid Receptor" molecule (whatever that is - cool name, though), and when CB1 comes in contact with Cannabis ingredients, it appears to trigger bone regeneration in people of mid-life to retirement age. The theory goes that as people get into their 60's, 70's and beyond, the effects of a bit of MJ may actually increase bone density, giving them back a more youthful vitality and strength. The downside of the study indicates that while people's bones became more dense, which in turn makes the Cannabis user more upwardly-mobile, they tend to use their new-found leg strength more often to walk to the store, for a pan of brownies and a few dozen bags of Doritos. It's kind of funny that they use the terms "60's", "70's" and "Marijuana" throughout the study. Maybe for similar reasons, I'm starting to hum Jimi Hendrix and Jefferson Airplane tunes as I'm typing. One thing is for sure: The results of this study will surely require another study.

WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Jet Blue It?

When times get tough, the tough get advertising! That may not be the exact quotation, but it's closer to the truth than you might think. Last week, Jet Blue came up with a promotion that had many in the travel business shaking their heads, and it turns out rightfully so. The promo was called "All You Can Jet" as a take-off on all-you-can-eat buffets. The crux of it was that for a mere $599, you could fly anywhere in their system, as many times as you'd like, between date "X" and date "Z", though now they're asking themselves "Y"? The plan was to get those non-fliers off their sofas and onto Jet Blue planes. But in reality, while they did get some of those, they also got their regular and frequent travelers to LOAD UP...so much so that today they announced they're suspending the program, due to SUCCESS! Let's check the formula - airlines are already cash-crunched, losing money faster than it comes in with rising fuel costs. (Proponent): "OK, Mr. Chairman. So we get more people to fly, decreasing our per-person revenue intake, increasing the weight of humans and luggage on each flight, decreasing our profits significantly with the high price of jet fuel." (Mr. Chairman): "I see - at least I think I do - but my question is, how do we make money on this?" (Proponent): "VOLUME, Sir....Volume!" Yes, it's a new twist to an old joke, but apparently that's not too far off from the actual conversation, since they're now having to turn around and cancel the program under the weight of....itself.

COMING TO CHARLOTTE, NC - in case you missed it, at the end of 2009 USAirways will be starting non-stop service to Honolulu, something the area has never had. Sure we can change planes in Atlanta or Chicago or Dallas or Phoenix or Detroit or Philadelphia or, well, you get the picture. But in a perfect world, those of us who fly would never want to make a connection. It takes time, and there can be schedule changes or weather or cancellations that make us miss our connections. Another consideration is the question: Is there REALLY time during that 41 "scheduled" minutes on the ground, to get my suitcases from Concourse A to Concourse F, or am I going to wind up on my cruise or vacation with only the clothing on my back? Of course lost luggage can still happen on non-stop flights, but it's generally much more rare. Hawaii is one of the great vacation and honeymoon destinations on Earth, and now people from the greater Charlotte area will be able to get there while the gettin's good! Keep your eyes peeled for more news about this, and we will have incredible air and hotel packages available. If your cup of tea is Maui, Kauai or the Big Island, there will still be a change of planes involved, but for people wanting Oahu (Honolulu/Pearl Harbor) or who are going on a 7-night Hawaiian islands cruise, this will truly be a new and exciting wave of travel. Aloha!

Today, I'm proposing the "Bennie Crabtree Law," which is my common-sense approach to the Judicial System. Call me ignorant, but this is a bit beyond the more well-known 3-Strikes laws passed in various states. Those say that after a 3rd major criminal prosecution, you are locked up forever, and the key gets pitched in the nearest dumpster. Done! Yer' Out! It seems they never heard of such a thing in Ohio. Authorities in Cincinnati said the official record shows that Bennie Crabtree has been arrested 146 times since 1998 (that's over 16 times per year, if you're a bit slow on the math up-take). This was just "discovered" when Hamilton County's record-keeping system was updated. Veteran police officers said he had been arrested many more times in the decades before that - too many times to count. Crabtree's record includes criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, and dozens and dozens of thefts. Police say he's never done anything serious enough to actually be sent to prison, and because of local jail overcrowding, he's often released hours after his arrests and court appearances. A social worker charged with keeping up with 61-year-old Bennie says Mr. Crabtree is just lonely. Hmmmm. Theory #1: It's apparently PRETTY EASY to become a social worker in Cincinnati. Theory #2: The Po-Lice are so caught up in the system, they are incapable of thinking outside the box. The fact that he's "Never done anything serious enough to actually be sent to prison" is ludicrous. By continually eating man-hours of the Police and Courts, not even counting the monetary losses from his ongoing thefts, this man has to be at least a Million-Dollar-Liability to the city of Cincinnati and state of Ohio. That's a guess, of course, but I'm betting that number is on the low side of the ledger. It's probably much higher in the long run. It would be much cheaper to take the man, put him behind bars for life and give him his 3 meals a day, with counseling, to see if he couldn't be turned into a productive citizen again. If so, great. If not, Ohio is footing a much lesser bill than it is by NOT incarcerating him! So I propose the Bennie Crabtree Law....you give a guy the benefit of the doubt 145 times, but dang it on that 146th......why, I oughta.....

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!
On 2nd thought, maybe not.

"Stick 'em up! NO WAIT - PUT 'EM DOWN!" A Surrey, England theme park is banning visitors from putting their hands in the air while riding roller coasters when the weather is hot, following numerous complaints about foul body odor. The new rule applies whenever temperatures climb to 90 degrees or above, and signs will be posted reading "Say no to B O." Park Attendants will make sure riders follow the rules, or they risk being escorted out of the park. One of the park's Directors says the rule is necessary because, "our rides are really scary, and people tend to sweat more than normal due to the fear and anticipation they experience."

NOTE TO THE ENGLISH: "Bath" is more than the name of a quaint UK town....

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dancing With The Scars?

Exhale! I know you've all been holding your collective breath, wondering which Dog and which Pony would face the music on the upcoming season of ABC's Dancing With The Stars. Cap'n Bob, not so much. My girlfriend enjoys dancing, so we will sit together and watch Fox's "So You Think You Can Dance," when it's on during the Summer re-run slot. Nothing else is on the tube, that's for sure. I enjoy a good baseball game when it matters, but games that matter are few and far between during July and August. Fox's fare is filled with undiscovered professional dancers, who possess actual talent, only needing a shot to find success in their chosen craft. ABC on the other hand, takes people who already have success and notoriety, and creates a fish-out-of-water environment that is part America's Funniest Videos, part Gong Show and part "Hey honey - there's a bad traffic accident on I-85 South - grab the baby, and let's go check it out!" For the life of me, I'll never understand the attraction. In a nutshell, the ABC show has been a series of pretty people, packaged in sequins and discomfort, taught to explore their inner embarrassment quotient. No matter how much rum I ingest, it doesn't get any better for me. So which pretty people got the nod for 2009? Marie Osmand has already done her time, so to keep it all in the family, it's Donnie's turn. He fits the mold, and should do well, if moving forward in this competition is considered doing well. Next pretty face? Kelly Osbourne, she of the loins of Ozzy. Pretty is a relative thing, and she should be very glad her Mom (Sharon) is the relative she got most of her looks from. Pretty face # 3? Chuck Liddell. OK, you lost me, ABC. There are probably a lot of people reading this who are unfamiliar with The Chuckster, who at one point was considered the toughest guy on the Planet. He's a pearly-white-bodied, not classically handsome, Fu-Manchu'd, shaved-side-headed-Mohawk-wearing former mixed martial arts champion, until a couple of consecutive beat-downs and knockouts killed off a goodly portion of the brain, that keeps you upright and prevents (for the most part) drooling as you talk. He seems like a nice enough guy, who just happens to use elbows, knees, feet and fists to choke or render unconscious any human set in front of him. Note to choreographers: DON'T PUSH THIS GUY! Anyway, the celebrity pool has apparently been drained for cleaning, because these 3 rank among the more-recognizable names on the docket for 2009-2010. Yeah, there are some other D-listers, but in an extraordinary "reach" they've included Tom DeLay (now where do I know that name from?). As in, former Republican Congressman Tom DeLay of Texas. As in, why is he not in Congress anymore? Oh yeah - even though he was House Majority Leader in 2005, he was indicted by a Texas Grand Jury on money-laundering charges, which are still unresolved. That's money-laundering of the F-E-L-O-N-Y kind. I can hear it already.... "Hey Doris - grab the kids and gather 'round the TV set for some good 'ol dancin', San Quentin style." Nice role model. My guess, John Edwards was unavailable, but you can write it down that you heard it here first, as a prediction for season 2010-2011! The good news for people who actually like good dancing is Fox has expanded their turf, to run a season of So You Think You Can Dance this Fall, in direct competition with ABC's Drag-A-Bag contest. Should be an interesting head-to-head. ABC's theory, apparently, is that if FOX pulls their head into the lead, they've always got Chuck Liddell to bash it in.

Our Mann Travels website is undergoing some major upgrades, but we have just added the capability to watch video online. The first one is Royal Caribbean's new super-liner Oasis Of The Seas, which will be coming out in December of this year. It will be the largest cruise ship in the world, by a pretty hefty margin, and they want to emphasize the tremendous variety this ship will offer to families. In particular, what it offers the tykes and young-'uns which will free up Mom and Dad to relax and enjoy their cruise. Here's a link, and there will be many more videos to come as we move forward:

http://www.manntravels.com/video/index.cfm?mc_id=2

Which is witch?

You're all familiar with Salem Massachusetts, where trials were held a few hundred years ago to determine the witchy-ness of some of its inhabitants, based on whether or not they could float when dunked underwater. Not a high spot in Salem's judicial history. But some other-worldly connection may still be at work in the recently-filed case of Pereira vs. Speliotis. Back in March of this year, 19-year old Timothy Pereira rammed into Christine Speliotis's car head-on, and police were quick to note that Pereira had been driving 85 mph in a 35 mph zone. Further, he had lost control of his vehicle at that speed, swerving into Ms. Speliotis's lane and causing the crash. Done. Case closed, right? Eh, not so fast there Buck-o (no pun intended). Even though this appeared to be an open-and-shut case, enter 17-year old Brandon Pereira. Brandon happens to be Timothy's cousin, and he was injured during the crash. Now he has filed a lawsuit against Ms. Speliotis, for negligence! (Huh???). His suit claims that if she had been quicker to respond when his cousin had crossed into her lane, and if she had merely swerved her car into a nearby ditch to avoid the collision, no one would have gotten hurt. Except maybe her. And maybe even died, but Brandon and Timothy would have been just peachy. You have to hope that the Judge will at the very least order Brandon to pay all Court costs at the end of this debacle. Whoever he convinced to represent him as an attorney and advisor ought to be dunked a few times himself, then placed in the stocks for public humiliation.

You named that baby WHAT??!!

According to the Charlotte Observer, there was some weirdness going on in the Southeast United States, during the month of July 2009. In a 30-day span, there were a number of people arrested and charged with murder. Unfortunately that's an all-too-common occurrence these days, but this set of perps has a unique bond. Who is this murderer's row?

Jerry Wayne Damron (Taylorsville, NC)
Edward Wayne Edwards (Louisville, KY)
Anthony Wayne Thomas (Orlando, FL)
Travis Wayne Baczewski (Austin, TX)
Heath Wayne Overstreet (Roanoke, VA)
Jon Wayne Boyer (Nashville, TN)
David Wayne Hoshaw (Norfolk, VA)
Kenneth Wayne Baker (Churchville, VA)

The Court system also denied the appeals of 2 convicted murderers:

Mark Wayne Wiles (Ravenna, OH)
Carl Wayne Bowen, (Swansea, Wales UK)

But all is not lost! In Caroline County, VA there was another trial in July, of a defendant name John Wayne Peck. He had been arrested in 2007 for murder, but was found by a jury of his peers to be not guilty. I'd have a hard time convicting anyone named John Wayne myself. Know what I mean, Pilgrim?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Stimulus? How Stimulating!

The last couple of weeks have shown your 7th Grade Science Project, effectively hard at work. Even single-celled organisms understand the concept that a Stimulus leads invariably to a Response. Miriam Webster's little book describes the word Stimulus as: something that rouses or incites to activity. Delving further, they add: an agent that directly influences the activity of a living organism, or one of its parts (we won't go there, thank you very much). There are a lot of parts to our National Stimulus Package that haven't yet been successful, but it's pretty obvious "Cash For Clunkers" has been a huge hit. Clean up the environment, sell new cars, give people a deal when they're down on their luck, create new jobs and maybe more importantly, create a sense that everything is starting to get back to normal. Even if these are baby steps forward. The travel industry has seen its share of serious repercussions during the turn-down of the last year, but we are starting to see an increase as well. People might not buy a new shirt or stereo, but they WILL go on vacation. That demand acts as a stimulus in its own right, getting people to call or email looking for a deal. And the deals are still out there! However, as the stock market continues its trek Northward, and people see extra dollars in their bank accounts and stock portfolios, the hotels and cruise lines and package vendors are going to try to re-coup some of their 2008-2009 losses. That's why I'm expecting price increases coming very soon. So it would be in your best interest, if you still have time off to take this year, to contact me right away. Let's discuss the options for shipping you off to that vacation you so desperately deserve! Now if I can only convince my Congressman to take my suggestions on "Cash For VCR's And 8-Track Tapes" and my other brain-child, "Cash For Pants That Don't Fit As Nicely As They Used To Since You've Been Eating Pie And Whoppers All The Time You Big Dummy..."

So what did you get me for the big holiday week coming up? No, not Labor Day. And Christmas is still 4+ months away. Although my birthday is special to me, and probably millions of people world-wide will be celebrating it (maybe not), one birthday does not a week make. I'm sure if my Mom had been in labor for a week back in 1951, it would have given Labor Day a whole new meaning, and might have even made the Guinness Book. The holiday week I'm talking about is Aug. 29-Sep. 5, which has been designated National Bowling Week. In fact, USAToday even noted that gobowling.com is offering a coupon for a free game on Sep. 5th, when the bowling powers-that-be are trying to get more people to bowl on that day than ever before in history. Call those Guinness people again! You probably have to check to make sure your local bowling center is honoring the coupon, but that's kind of a cool concept. Lots of people think of bowlers as being over-50 bald guys with big beer-bellies, who are just there to socialize. The social aspect is quite true, but did you know the average bowler in this country is 29-years old? Did you know almost half, a full 49% of all bowlers are female (most of which are neither bald nor have big beer-bellies)? Did you know nearly 70 million of us bowl each year, at nearly 5,500 bowling alleys across the Country? It may not be as big as it was in the 50's, but it's still the best non-sport I know. It's relaxing, in a physical sort of way. I mean, where else can you go where you're instructed to take something heavy, walk up and throw it with all your might, with the sole intention of knocking something over? Man! That's a brat's dream. It's like legal vandalism, and they let you drink beer and eat French Fries while you're doing it. If there's a sweeter sport/non-sport out there, I'd love to hear about it!

(Overheard in Key West): "Honey, what's that awful smell?"
(Wife): "That would be Cuba, Dear."

Last year, the Caribbean island of Cuba was hit with 3 back-to-back-to-back hurricanes, followed by the effects of a global economic downturn. Add to that the continuing US embargo on imports & exports, and Cuba is realizing now it has a serious problem. They make a lot of their own goods, but a shortage of raw materials has kept them from manufacturing enough of one particular item, needed by every man, woman and child-citizen of Cuba. It doesn't matter what your politics are, whether you're counter-revolutionary or a follower of Castro's doctrine. Right now, all that matters is Cuba needs toilet paper. They are suffering form a severe shortage of the square, perforated bliss-on-a-roll, and based on current projections, they may not see a sufficient supply until the end of this year, if there are no further disruptions. Yuck. Sounds like on the show "Cuba's Most Wanted," Number Two has moved up to Number One! Maybe those Communist propaganda leaflets still have some shelf-life.

UPDATE ON SOMALI PIRACY (or not):

Farah Ahmed Omar was recently appointed as Chief of Somalia's Navy, with the express purpose of proving to the world that Somalia is serious about addressing piracy concerns. Mr. Omar will be on the front lines against a throng of well-armed pirates, operating in international waters off the country's North and East coast. He has admitted, though, that his job will be difficult initially. That's mostly because the Somalian Navy has no boats, nor a single sailor. They have Omar. He also admitted to a reporter that he hasn't been to sea in 23 years, and is not crazy about the water. However, he went on to say he was very optimistic that the piracy could be stopped. SEE THERE! All you people who think foreign governments don't cooperate with us, take that one on the chin!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Ruff Flight, Ma'am?

I'm a dog lover. Cats are cute enough, parakeets are a fine way to get rid of unwanted newspapers, hamsters are cuddly, turtles are interesting, snakes are weird, and whatever other pet you want to name is pretty much your thing. For me, it's dogs. Then again, I live my life within reason. Even being a dog lover, I'll be the first to admit there are also dog lunatics. Not "fans" as in short for fanatics, but actual loony-tunes. This week, a woman identified only as Rivka wanted to fly from Paris to Tel Aviv. She told the airline that the last time she took her dog on a flight, in the cargo hold where doggies travel, he wasn't the same for weeks. Stressed. Full of anxiety. So she wanted to know if her beloved poochie could ride with her in First Class. The response was something like "Lady, you'd have to buy ALL of First Class for us to do that."
And so she did. $32,000 to fly one-way from Paris to Tel Aviv. She later said, "I couldn't imagine us being separated for the 4 hours, so it was completely worth it to me." Yowza. Not sure if the 8-year old boxer was able to take advantage of the hot towels, complimentary champagne, or in-flight duck-a-la-orange. However, a flight attendant was overheard to say "Please, no smoking in the lavatories, keep your seatbelts fastened at all times, be sure the overhead bins are completely shut and latched, and I need a pooper-scooper in Aisle Two...."

There is a small, luxury ship called the Aqua, which sails the Amazon River in South America, but 10 days ago, they had a serious breach of security when armed bandits suddenly appeared out of the jungle, and robbed the passengers of jewelry and money. Today, it happened again. Many people, including some Americans on board both sailings, booked this type of small-ship luxury to avoid the crowds of larger cruise ships. They want adventure. Looks like they got it, and in spades. Adventure can be exciting, but it creates its own set of security headaches if you're in the wrong part of the world at the wrong time. I try to put my clients in more mainstream products, for the most part. There are extreme exceptions, but there is good reason why large, well-known cruise lines became large and well-known in the first place. It's called popularity! 98% of the cruising public is perfectly satisfied with some level of "standard" cruise ships. The other 2% have a better idea, at least in their mind. Maybe it's not very Mavericky of me, but I'll stick with my 98% thank-you-very-much. I've been making a healthy living for 20+ years on those 98% and if going to the dance with the most popular girl is a crime, lock me up!

Speaking of strange goings-on in S. America, an environmental group from Brazil has launched a campaign to save the rain forests. A noble gesture indeed. However, their methods are a bit more controversial than the premise. The group is encouraging people to bypass the toilet, and urinate in the shower to save water needlessly flushed-away. Television ads are airing showing cartoon characters relieving themselves in the shower, explaining that households can save more than 1,000 gallons of water a year by reducing each home by just one flush a day.

How about that? I wonder if my frat brothers in college knew they were saving the rainforest?!