Is McCain McAble?

Yow......Senator McCain did his version of "shock and awe" yesterday (more like schlock and awwwww), when he announced Sarah Palin as his VP nominee. Sarah Palin. Yes, before you ask, it is in fact THE Sarah Palin. So how qualified is she to be a single heartbeat from the Presidency? How is she on foreign policy? How much does she understand the economy?

My reply is simply this: It doesn't matter! Not because I don't love the US of A, or that I don't care about who is running the show from DC. The reason I say it doesn't matter is because no person on the planet can meet someone 1 time, and decide that individual is worthy of running a country, particularly a nuclear superpower that leads the free world. Not John McCain, not Kreskin at his most clairvoyant, not Dr. Phil, not Chris Angel doing a mind-freak (although this is certainly a mind-freak of historic magnitude), nobody. N-o-b-o-d-y! At this point, Mrs. Palin's qualifications and mental readiness pale totally, in comparison to those of the Republican nominee his-own-self. This is the same man who smiles at all the wrong times, confuses easily, angers even easier, and if this is what America can expect from his judgement on the 1st major Executive decision of importance, it is in a word mind-blowing. Ok, mind-blowing is 2 words - so sue me! It's hyphenated, and in my book that's darned close enough.

No, this selection was calculated from a purely political standpoint, a wild, pandering attempt to steal the female undecided vote, while keeping the tightest old-school Republican ideology in place. I'm sure Mrs. Palin is very nice and very capable and very Republican and blah blah blah. The only truth that matters here is that John McCain selected someone he met once. What's that you say? He's talked to her on the phone a few times since? Ooohh! That makes all the difference (not). This is the equivalent of an arranged marriage, but the kind where you're just trying to pull a fast one on an unsuspecting 3rd party. It's like marrying someone so they can become a US citizen, then as soon as it's legal to separate, you go your own ways and thanks so much for the check. Business. Strictly business. Back in 2000, I was a registered Republican and believe it or not I voted for John McCain over GW Bush (who I thought was an idiot, and now KNOW is an idiot), because I felt McCain was the best Republican, and a better choice than the cardboard cut-out that was and still is Al Gore. I was a Republican because my parents and their friends were Republicans. In hindsight, that was wrong of me and it won't happen again. Gore might have made a lousy statesman, but what we got with GW was someone who has almost reversed 230 years of history. Had we known that 2 terms of Bush would nearly swamp our national vessel, I'm sure boatloads of people would have hung their chads very differently.

So these days I'm a registered Independent. Mr. Bush, and Mr. McCain have completely cured me of supporting the stale agenda of a dated Republican platform. For the rest of my natural-born days, I'll be voting for the best man or woman for the job, at every level. Black, white (which are probably closer to dark brown and pinkish-beige, if the truth be told), or any other color, creed or belief, my motto has become: The best human gets my vote. I would implore anyone who reads this to NOT vote what your parents voted, just because it's how you were raised. Each of us has to take responsibility for listening, thinking through, and placing our faith in someone who can get us the heck out of this miserable hole we're in. I said it before, but it bears repeating:

Barack 'N Roll

You're probably wondering where the travel tips are today. Our offices are closed until Tuesday in honor of Labor Day, but I just felt like talking and I'm taking a day off from talking shop.

Three of our Faves

Although you land-lubbers out there in Cyberville don't know these people, Cap'n Bob would like to take a moment to congratulate a handful of loyal crewmembers, who will be handling new duties and details on board. Kim Storch will be in charge of selling timeshare space in the Brig, which is currently occupied by my cousin Raymundo. Fill 'er up, Kim. Raymundo hates talking amongst himself! Seth Widdowson has left the world of dealing with land-lubbers, and will now be the ship's Illusionist extraordinaire, putting on shows daily Monday thru Friday. He'll also be 1st in line to kick my computer, should it tick me off at any point. Saves wear and tear on my legs. Seth is the dedicated sailor who first proved to me the world is round...thank you very much Google Earth.

And finally, Sandy Saburn had been in the Crow's Nest a wee bit tipsy last week, and thought she spied a beautiful paradise on the horizon. Turned out to be a K-Mart, but that's some mighty fine rum The Cap'n serves, so it's understood by all. Lives and let lives, bygones be as they may and all that. Sandy has agreed to stay the heck out of the rigging (and the rum), and will remain below deck where she belongs, thank you very much. And we're MIGHTY GLAD to have her.

Wooden Soldier vs. BARACK 'N ROLL

Very interesting event at the Democratic convention last night. The stage hands propped up a wooden cut-out of Al Gore, and piped in vocals to make it appear as though he was actually there. Nice special effects! If you looked close enough (thank goodness for Hi-Def TV), you could still see the knots in the wood, so I wasn't fooled. But overall, his speech was riveting. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Get it? Al Gore speech riveting? The only time Al has ever been riveting was when he worked for 5 minutes at a Chevy plant in Detroit on the campaign trail. No, unfortunately there was plenty of global cooling going on while Big Al did his thang. It was a reminder of how George W won in the first place. But just like at a Rock 'N Roll concert, they always bring in a warm-up band that can't hold the stage to the feature act, making the headliner sound that much better.

Not needed last night.

Biden came next, and kept a very low profile compared to the previous night. He seemed to be biden his tongue, not wanting to upstage the Boss. Then it was time to see what the Man had to say. Man oh Man was the Man the Man! Anybody who thought he might be too light-weight or short on substance better think again. I've seen some excellent politicians in my day, but never have I seen someone confront all his criticism head-on, and throw it back in the face of the opponent the way he did. Senator McCain has to be shaking in his Depends at this point. Don't get me wrong, I think McCain is a fine wooden soldier, a la Big Al. But America needs fresh ideas, a voice of reason, and calm leadership. As a longtime ship's Master myself, I know a great Cap'n when I see one!

But it's not just me. Last night after the speech, Hardball's Chris Matthews (former presidential speech writer) could not even remain neutral. He was blown away, as was his sidekick Keith O. Normally pundits try to play both sides, saying the good and bad, but it was historic and took away their option of finding a negative. Mr. Obama, you are for real.

Weekend Weather News: Gustav is still making life miserable for the Western Caribbean Sea, while Hanna is floating around the Atlantic, possibly aiming for the Bahamas. Yep. It's late Summer alright, and the storm clouds are firing up. Let's all hope these 2 latest ones are less-damaging than predicted.

My ship will be out to sea over the Labor Day weekend, so I won't be around port to get messages, but I'll gladly answer any when I'm back ashore next Tuesday. Have a safe and happy weekend. I'll be taking in the waves and a few swigs from the rum barrel to keep me sailing straight. Ah, a pirate's life for me!

Cap'n Bob, the technot

Not a tech nut, a technot. Computers have always amazed and somewhat frightened me, but I've gotten to the point where I know where the On/Off switch is. At least mine's bright orange....helps when I've been tipping the rum barrel in abundance. It took me the longest time to figure out how to use a mouse. I asked for a bigger one, since I'm not a delicate guy, and thought bigger might be easier. I figured the little 'uns were called a mouse, and the big 'uns like I wanted would probably be called a moose. No, I was informed that a bigger mouse would make it a RAT, and no computer companies make rats! They only make mouses (I know, plural is mice, but there has to be something separating this little plastic doo-dah from a hairy critter that makes girlies scream). Anyway, today after uploading breakfast, I figured I'd get to work on whatever it is I do all day on the computer. Lo and behold, Mr. Microsoft sent me a little gold shield, telling me I had important stuff to update. I never would have known that on my own, so a special and hearty thanks to Mr. Microsoft! Have you ever seen Mr. Microsoft run by the way? Bill gaits.

So here I am with this little gold shield in my mug, and I clicks "yes" since it's the only choice I can think of other than hitting it with a hammer to make it go away. And thar she goes! I found myself downloading whatever it is they think I need so desperately that I didn't have yesterday when everything was working FINE! Only thing was, my screen was all messed up....there was a big block of nothin' sitting there. No moving, no blinking, just a big block at eye level gawking at me. I'm confused. Usually this is 15 seconds, over and out, thank you Mr. Microsoft. Not today -- This thing is staring at me like I got spinach in my teeth. 2-3-4 minutes go by, and now I figure I'm frozen in the Cyber Sea, but suddenly a message came across that screen that shivered me timbers! The machine wanted to check my current configuration. Dagnabbit. I had me a woman doctor once, and that was embarrassing enough, but now a stinkin' machine wants to check my configuration. I was about to pull the plug, when the message changed a second time. What the? Now the machine wanted to estimate space for insertion! That was the last straw for The Cap'n. I re-booted that thing across the room, and shouted "And don't you EVER come back here!" It was only later I found out those messages were part of the drill, so I apologized to my machine and even bought it a new dust cover. The catalog says it's puce. I don't even know what color that is, but puce was a funny word and I bought it.


Being a technot in a world of 8-year-old geniuses reminds me to go find that rum barrel again, before bunking down for the night.

Barack To The Future!

Mr. Bill made his long-awaited appearance with the Dems last night (Oh Nooooooo!), but although many worried he would be remain divisive to the party, he stepped up and did his Clinton thing. The Gray Stallion gave a stirring, supportive speech for the prospective Mr. O, and surprisingly was sober as a judge when he did it! Rewind your TIVO's to look at Tuesday Bill vs. Wednesday Bill. Tuesday Bill's face was an advertisement for Red Lobster. Wednesday Bill, thanks to excellent make-up work and his staff hiding the Johnnie Walker for 24 hours, looked like good 'ol President Clinton.....a welcome sight to a party that's had it's downs more than ups over the last 8 years. Mr. Bill still has the vocal gift that made him the greatest politician of his time in the first place, that effortless ability to speak to no one directly, but everyone at once. You got the feeling he was talking directly to your family. Job well done, Mr. Prez.

Next up was Little Joey Biden - who knew? At first I thought he was doing his best Navan Johnson impression (Steve Martin) from The Jerk. "I was born a poor, black child...." His Mom was getting more air time than Brad & Angelina's twins at a Paparazzi-fest. Eventually, the cameras realized GOOD HEAVENS -- her lips aren't moving! It's the other guy we're supposed to cover, so they moved back to Little Joey. Once he got past the stories of making mud pies for the homeless as a 5 year old, and back to the politics of NOW, it became a good talk. Not great, because some brain-dead speech writer thought it would be effective to keep leading the crowd by the nose to say "That's not change, that's the same". Kind of felt like that weird moment in church where the congregation is supposed to read something aloud in unison, but it comes off as sort of Night Of The Living Dead zombified poetry class. Still, I'll give him a B for Effort. Call it a Beffort.

More and more information is coming out about Royal Caribbean's next-big-thing, Oasis Of The Seas. They are packing this ship so full of activities, it will definitely revolutionize the next generation of floating cities. Wave riders, zip lines, enormous spa facilities, Madame Toussaud's Wax Museum (ok that last one was a lie, but there's LOTS of stuff to do). The booking window is still not open for the general public, but if you're a Royal Caribbean past guest, feel free to call or email us to see if you qualify to book early. Only certain levels of past guest membership are allowed to reserve space this soon, but the ship's inaugural sailing is in mid-December 2009 and it's already going fast!

The Excitement of Billary

There they were last night, Hillary in all her glowing orangeness, and Bill in all his glowing red-nosedness. Colorful, I'll grant you! The class of the family to my eye was Chelsea, whose quiet elegance represented the family well. I remember that gawky little kid in the white house, but she's certainly grown into a distinguished woman who carries the Clinton badge proudly.

Congratulations to Hillary's Girl Power Ranger speech. Extremely well done, and not read off a teleprompter like so many of the rambling heads we've seen up there. She was direct, eloquent, to the point, and made it appear to come from the heart, which you have to respect whether you like her or not. I do. For all the negatives people write about her, she has been through a LOT with Mr. Bill, and is still standing strong in the National spotlight. You go, Girl! Speaking of which, there was an America's Funniest Home Videos moment for me last night. When she was waiting for that terrible musical intro to stop (which took an eternity), the camera panned up to First Hubby W.J.C. He had a sweet "that's my girl" kind of look on his face, and for those of you who are not as adept as The Cap'n at lip-reading, I'll fill you in. Here is the exact text of his comments:

"I love you I love you I love you are the cameras still rolling I love you I love you."

Yes, I got weepy too! I haven't been that emotional since the mean old hunter shot Lassie. What? That was Bambi's Mom? BAMBI's MOM?? SAY IT AIN'T SO!

Gustav The Evil continues to plague the radar maps in the Caribbean. The storm weakened a little bit as it crossed over land, but is expected to gain strength and become a much larger storm over the Labor Day weekend. It's unfortunate that on Weather Underground, they show 6 computer models, and 5 of them have the storm turning directly at New Orleans. Let's all hope that's not the case, although rooting for it to miss New Orleans only means misery for someone else, further east or west. Cap'n Bob has seen the strength of hurricanes up-close-and-personal on the high seas, and they are no joke. Watching from the deck while the waves and lightning are crashing all around you, well....all I can say is there are no Atheists on board. If there is any good news here, it's that New Orleans knows its own recent history, and if the track remains true, everyone has plenty of time to get out this time. Please, no heroes. Or fools. Get out.

It happened again today. Happens every year at this time. EVERY year. We got a call for travel over the end-of-December timeframe. There are 2 types of families who book travel over the Christmas/New Year's timeframe. Yes, it's a crowded time to travel, and yes it's the most expensive time you could possibly ask for, but people DO GO when schools and offices are closed. The 2 types of families are "The Planners", who go on nice vacations every Holiday season, and "The Wannabees" who always wind up watching Clay Aiken's Christmas re-runs from the comfort of their den with some Mac 'N Cheese. So what's the difference? The Planners bought their trip months in advance. They recognized the fact that airfare is NOT coming down the closer you get to the Holidays. If you think about it, you've got millions of people trying to get away, particularly to a warm-weather destination like the Caribbean, and each plane only holds 130-175 people or so. OK, get out your pocket calculator and do the math....I'll wait.....(whistles the theme from Popeye). Anyhoo, The Planners know hotels and cruise ships fill up many months in advance. So they bought their trip back in February, and they're all set! In fact, they are now working on a cruise over Christmas 2009. Meanwhile, The Wannabees are absolutely POSITIVE that nobody travels over Christmas....everybody stays home with their families watching TV specials right? Eh, no, that's just you Wannabees. They're equally as certain those ultra-high rates will come down when the cruise lines or hotels realize they are half-empty, or people canceled, right? Hmmmm. I see a pattern here. The ships might have a handful of cabins left that hold 2 people, but there are only a limited amount of cabins on any cruise ship that can hold Mom, Dad and the kids. And even if there might be a hotel available in Jamaica, there are no more seats left on any flight at any price. You Wannabee there, but you can't. The Cap'n is making that clicking sound with his tongue, even though you can't hear it.....

Mann Travels can always get you the best value that exists when you try to travel, but if you decide to go during peak demand times, the rates won't be the same as that cheap-o cruise you saw advertised for September in the middle of hurricane season when schools just went back in session. Cruise Lines and Hoteliers know exactly when your kids are in or out of school (along with their teachers, professors, etc), and if you try to travel when everyone else does, you'd better be a Planner family. We can also offer you some alternate ideas, to maximize your trip with minimum damage to your budget!

Uncle Teddy Bears Witness

The Democratic Convention got off to a crawl last night, initially with a bunch of back-slappin' good-ol' boys and gals who got their 15 minutes in the Party spotlight (albeit in the background, while CNN and Network reporters, pols and analysts talked over them). The always-entertaining James Carville was not amused, saying the Dems were coasting on the first night. But things lit up when Caroline Kennedy brought in Uncle Teddy. Neither one of them can read a teleprompter worth a hoot, but it was good to see Ted in full voice. I was expecting a more frail appearance, but he brought the thunder. It's good to know that careful diagnosis, excellent medical care and a 5th of Jack Daniels can still work magic on the national stage. Just the sight of all those people cheering from under their straw hats, well, it kinda takes your breath away. REMEMBER THIS PEOPLE: there are a lot of countries out there that don't even have straw hats, so be grateful for being part of this great place and time we live in.

The one thing that ticked me off after Michelle Obama spoke (she did very well, by the way), was when they asked some analysts to grade her from A-F. Of the 5 analysts, 4 of them gave her an A. Good call. She deserved an A. However, the last one gave her a B. Why? "I didn't like her dress." Ya know, I don't think The Cap'n even needs to comment on that. The media embarrasses themselves more than I ever could.

There's some not-so-great weather news to report. GUSTAV has gone from just being a pain-in-the-Caribbean to a full-fledged Hurricane. Not only that, but the storm is sitting off the coast of Haiti & The Dominican Republic, with a very bad path laid out for the continental US. You can view and track the storm from this link, which includes computer models, projections, radar and satellite, etc/from the Weather Underground site:

http://www.wunderground.com/tropical/tracking/at200807.html

I've said it before, but it bears repeating. If you are going to cruise the Caribbean during late Summer or Fall, you should strongly consider leaving from Miami or Ft. Lauderdale. At least you have a choice of itineraries (heading East or West, where you can run from or avoid visible storms). If you leave from Tampa, Mobile, New Orleans, or Galveston, best of luck to you. There are no alternate home ports, and no alternate destination ports. If there's a storm, you're in it and this upcoming week there are going to be thousands of people in it.

One of my shipmates is headed to Toronto Canada this weekend, which is one of the Cap'n's favorite destinations. People are so nice and helpful up there, the food is great, the architecture, entertainment and activities are world-class, and all races and cultures seem to get along....it's kind of like the American ideal, without all the darned Americans messing things up. Although I can appreciate the fine dining establishments, streetside cafes, and having a Labatt's Blue at Wayne' Gretzky's restaurant & bar, the most memorable food I've eaten in Toronto over the years is a bit more obscure. I did a Google search of Toronto Restaurants and it came back with a listing and reviews of the 285 most popular. My favorite food choice made the Top 10! OK, so it was #10, but that ain't bad out of the 285 best. Wanna see what it is?

http://www.virtualtourist.com/travel/North_America/Canada/Province_of_Ontario/Toronto-903418/Restaurants-Toronto-TG-C-1.html

You're probably thinking I'm kidding, but these are seriously good eats! My highest recommendation is to get the regular Polish Kielbasa (not the spicy), have them side-slice it about 6-8 times, and let them grill it over the open fire until it's blackened on the outside. Served on a yellow egg bun, you can select from tons of condiments and spices, including olives, banana peppers, fresh onion, relish, or a dozen other toppings, and all I can tell you is WELCOME TO HEAVEN! If you've ever bought from a street vendor in New York or something, it's absolutely nothing even resembling that. Ontario and the city of Toronto have extremely strict health and service guidelines, and carts and vendors are all randomly checked throughout the year. It's just a slice of love on an egg bun. In Ebert-and-Roper-style, I'll give it 2 buns up!

Mundane Monday

Everyone is feeling the post-Olympic blues today. As I was driving to the dock this morning, I kept expecting to see thousands of Chinese acrobats hanging off the buildings. No luck, only a handful of pigeons which failed to generate the same level of excitement I can assure you.

I'm trying to get myself revved up for the next big thing, the Democratic Convention, followed immediately by the Republican Convention. Yes, it's the once-every-4-years Uncle Sam dog and pony show, but this year it may be a little more rough and tumble than in recent years. It appears that everybody hates everybody these days! I'm already sick of the TV ads and speeches, telling us how lousy the other guy is. Can you imagine if that had been the case in the days of our founding fathers? America's first contested presidential election was 1796, when George Washington refused a 3rd term, so the choices were John Adams vs. Thomas Jefferson, in a 2-out-of-3-falls steel cage match, with Ric Flair as the guest referee. Oops, sorry -- I always get that particular election confused with Wrestlemania III. Anyway, picture a reporter tracking down Thomas Jefferson backstage, while he was re-dusting his wig before an appearance on the Gerald Springer Stage Show......

"Mr. Jefferson! Mr. Jefferson!! Samuel Donaldson here, for the Rhode Island Free Press Constitution Daily Herald And National Enquirer. There are rumors circulating that you think Mr. Adams is unqualified to be President, although most people feel he's a fine choice representing the Federalists. Do you care to comment?"

"Well, Mr. Donaldson -- and by the way, that is a sharp wig you have on. Very interesting the way it combs across from one ear to the other, but QUITE NATURAL I must say. As for Mr. Adams, let's just say the large sloping forehead he displays could be very put-offish, to foreign dignitaries and kings expecting a man with a much more standard hairline. Also, have you noticed he smells distinctly of tobacco and elderberries? I, on the other hand, dress more as a Dandy, with great posture and have frequented the bath more often, to make myself more of a public countenance representing these United States. Furthermore, my running mate Mr. Aaron Burr is a huge advocate of the 2nd Amendment right to bear arms, and incidentally has been seen in the company of one of the most gifted entertainers of our time, Brittania Spears."

You get the idea. That kind of politics would have sounded equally absurd back then, and I truly wish the candidates would RESPECT THE INTELLIGENCE OF THE CONSTITUENCY, by telling us what they can do for us individually, not waste time speculating on what the opponent can't do. Here's a starting point:

Obama, you are not too inexperienced, and you're a thoughtful, intelligent man fully capable of being our next President. McCain, you're not too old for the job, and have shown you can be a leader capable of being President as well. OK - now can we get past the garbage politics? All the American people want you to do is talk to us. Tell us the truth, because although you may not believe it, we can tell when you don't. So there!!

Well lookee here, Labor Day is Peking (blatant post-Olympic reference) around the corner. Hard to believe it's nearly September, and were entering another Holiday phase. It's just about too late to plan for a trip this weekend, but more long weekends are a-comin'. For any couples looking to get away over Thanksgiving, as an example, how about trying "Couples" in Jamaica? These beautiful all-inclusive resorts are made for -- yes, you guessed it, couples! Not that there is anything wrong with children. I believe that children are the future...teach them well, and let them lead the way. But NOT when I'm on vacation!! Cap'n Bob doesn't have any kids, and playing with yours or anyone else's is not my idea of a good time. Heck, I can't hardly spit around kids. No, I'm happy to lounge by a gorgeous beach, washing down my fried plantains and jerk chicken with one of those little fruity drinks with a wee tiny umbrella in it, thank you very much Sir or Madam. We can always get discounted rates at Couples resorts, so feel free to call 800-835-9828 any time you'd like to go!

Post script: John Adams defeated Jefferson in 1896. See what negative politicking gets ya?!

Fry Day

Last night's Olympic coverage was a little tough on the US of A. Both our relay teams looked amazing, then they fried themselves by dropping the baton. Well, it's not actually a baton like them little blonde twirlers use at football games. It's a stick. Ever had a buddy hand you a stick? Didja drop it? Me neither. I can see that happening in the finals when you're going for the Gold....nerves, pressure, being all sweaty and such. But when you're about 3/4 of a mile ahead of your nearest competitor in the warm-up qualifiers, you should take the time to put the stick in your Mate's palm firmly, and if you're not late for another appointment, you might take a minute or two to even wrap the person's fingers around the darn thing before moseying off the track. Ok ok, accidents happen. We're all human (speak for yourself). When it happened to the men, that was an accident. I'll bite. When it happened 5 minutes later to the women, it was a mind game. Say what you want, that was a psyche out of Olympic magnitude. Nothing physical prevented that pass, but talk about getting into someone's head, and at the most important time in their sporting lives. Yeesh. The most important thing to Cap'n Bob is DINNER (ask anybody on my vessel), and I can assure you that when The Ship's Cookie plants some beef and potatoes on my plate, never once have I dropped it on the deck. Then again, I've not had 90,000 people watching me do it. But a couple dozen sometimes! And I've never choked!! Thank Karch for beach volleyball, that's all I'm sayin' on the subject.....

For anyone who thinks Europe is also "fried" for the season, think again. The dollar hasn't been great against the Euro, as we all know, but when you coupled that with super-high airfares to Europe there have been a lot of people saying 'maybe next year'. Ah, ah, ah, not so fast. Carnival Cruise Line still has some limited space in October of 2008 on the Carnival Splendour and Carnival Freedom in the Mediterranean. So what, you ask? So LISTEN TO THIS --- there are actually a few spots left including air from a handful of East Coast gateways such as Atlanta or Charlotte (may require residency of those states), where you can get a 12-night cruise including roundtrip airfare for $1998 per person!! Of course there are taxes of about $250 additional, but again that price is for the cruise AND the air combined. Holy Be-Jeebers that's amazing, and at those prices this deal could disappear as quickly as she sailed onto the horizon. But right now we've got it!! You can get details by calling 1-800-835-9828, and either The Cap'n or one of his First Mates will get you sailin' in no time!

Epilog: In case you're not familiar with Carnival's newest and greatest ships, they just won NINE (yes 9) awards from Fodor's for their Europe product. That is twice as many awards as any other cruise line!

The Big O

Rumors and secrecy have shrouded the opening of the largest cruise ship ever built, but as of this morning she is open for business (albeit only for the highest-level of past passengers with Royal Caribbean). Yes, I'm talking about Oasis Of The Seas, the newest and supposedly coolest of them all. It's only been in the last few days you could even see a deck plan for the 1st time, but after seeing it The Cap'n agrees it will be unlike anything that's come before. People who like active vacations and LOTS of companionship (the most other passengers in history), will no doubt think this is the place to be. For people looking for romance, quiet and a less-crowded atmosphere, it may not be the right type of vacation. Just getting on and off this ship will be a challenge, based on its enormity. I believe the cruise line is taking a huge gamble with their Central Park area. Just from the name alone you can tell what it is -- a huge, open-air park (with trees and everything) on one of the higher decks, where people can stroll or play all hours of the day and night. That's where the experiment comes in. With the demand for balconies on cruise ships still skyrocketing, this ship not only has the normal balconies overlooking the water, but also a large number of balconies overlooking the park. Theoretically, it'll be like coming out on your balcony in a Manhattan high-rise, and looking out over the spectacular view. Nice. Scenic. Relaxing. Eh, maybe. Having worked on ships for many years, I know people go out on the open decks all hours of the day and night, and this park should be a people-magnet of mythical stature. I'm wondering how it's going to play out, when people come out of the disco at 3am (likely with a cocktail or 9 in their systems), to go for a boisterous stroll through the park. "WOOOOOOOOO-Hoooooooooo!!!" "Where IS everybody??!!" "Wake Up!!" "Expletive Expletive!!" These are just a few of the multiple-nightly interruptions I'd expect, if I bought one of those over-look balconies. I'm fairly certain there won't be any mention of it in the brochure, but the Chief Purser and Hotel Manager are almost surely going to be kept busy fielding noise complaints. Only time will tell. Maybe they've developed soundproof glass with the CIA's help.

Fay remains persistent in soaking Florida from one end to the other. Jacksonville has only seen landfall of 1 hurricane since the 1860's, so this is a highly unusual event. I cracked up yesterday when I was reading some reports on CNN about 1 particular area. Apparently, the Sheriff of St. Lucie County Florida is a gentleman named Ken Mascara. This is the actual written quote from CCN.com, taken from their interview with him:

"Last night the eye actually skirted St. Lucie County. We were on the south side of the eye," Mascara said.

OK, so my mind operates sideways. But the thought of Mascara talking about his position on the eye brought back memories of the late 60's, Hendrix, Woodstock, experimentation with various chemicals, and Jefferson Airplane singing "White Rabbit". The Cap'n has a vivid imagination, don't you know....

After some tweaking of their itineraries, Carnival announced yesterday they are going to be operating a pair of 3 and 4 day cruises from Southern California starting this Winter. They've been running trips from LA to Enesenada and Catalina Island on "Paradise" for years, and they tried some longer cruises of 4 and 5 days on "Elation", but now they're going to keep the LA cruises as-is, and add 3 and 4 day sailings from San Diego starting in mid-February 2009. So people who live in California, or visitors, or folks from neighboring drive-markets will have multiple choices of sailing dates on Carnival. Of course, they still offer the 7-night LA cruises to Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan and Cabo San Lucas year-round.

Well, this is the 1st day for Oasis of the Seas bookings, and I came up to the bridge an hour early to get through to Royal Caribbean for a top client, but it's now 1 hour and 40 minutes and counting, with no human contact. This is NOT good, Royal Caribbean - not good at all! Signs of things to come? "Bosun's Mate -- bring me another 4 cups of coffee!!"

Fay continues her dump-fest

Central and northern Florida are still playing rain barrel to Fay's huffing and puffing. The major damage appears to be more from the tornadoes spawned, than from any storm surge or general wind damage from a direct hit. All part of the season, all part of living in Florida. The beneficial side is that she's replenishing a lot of draught-affected areas, and will continue to do so as she moves into the lower Southeast US. People who were booked at Disney World or other Florida attractions this week are wishing for sunshine, that's for sure. It's hard enough dragging young 'uns around theme parks when the weather is nice, but when it's raining sideways, the wind is blowing rides off their tracks, lightning is crashing all around and there are tornado warnings everywhere, it makes you think about re-working your schedule for next year.

Obviously some folks have to travel during hurricane season, while others choose to do so because of monetary savings. We always recommend increasing your chances of beating the storms, by choosing the right vacation package. Cruise ships are mobile, so they can avoid storms for the most part and there are still plenty of family activities on board. Or you may consider flying down to Aruba, Bonaire or Curacao in the Netherland Antilles -- those island are so far south (just above South America), they're all but immune to hurricanes. Another choice is Alaska. Hurricanes are warm-water events, and they simply can't travel that far north in the Pacific. Alaska used to be thought of as a Senior Citizen's destination, but many of the cruise lines have added tons of adventure excursions which are great for families, or adults of any age. How about traversing a rain forest zip line, surrounded by amazing scenery? If you want to drive your own dog sled, you can go to mushers camp and learn all about it. Or do a glacier river float trip. Take in a Lumberjack Show! There's always whale-watching and various types of sport fishing, where you'll get up-close-and-personal with some aquatic friends. Sea kayaks are another excellent adventure choice. And the ones I've mentioned are just the tip of the -- well, you know.

Sad news, the Second City comedy club in Las Vegas has closed for the moment. Of course the Chicago, Toronto, Detroit and LA locations remain open and rip-roaring fun, but one of the best values in Vegas has taken a hiatus. Hopefully another hotel will pick them up and supply a larger room that will allow them to reach their full potential. If you don't know Second City, you absolutely know its alumni -- by the dozens. If you've never done one of the 2 original cities, Chicago or Toronto, they are fabulous vacation spots....and yes, both are unaffected by hurricanes! We can arrange those trips for you as well, and Cap'n Bob can even recommend a few extra insider tidbits of info, to make your trip even more special. Here are some alumni:

http://www.secondcity.com/?id=history/alumni/chicago
http://www.secondcity.com/?id=history/alumni/toronto

Now I have to share a pet peeve. Network television lost its backbone a few years ago, and now they think we need teasers to keep us watching their shows. I always try to grab the remote and hit the mute button, or at least stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes and say "Na na na na na" for 30 seconds, but sometimes you can't help but SEE the darned thing by accident. I've only been watching ER for a decade. Now that they've told me the plot of the 1st episode, and ruined some of the main surprises of the season, AND told me this is the final season and the show is going away, so there (sticking their collective tongue out at us)......well, maybe I'll take the hint and just start watching something else now! If you have so little confidence in your product - particularly in a flagship show that's been around for years - it must not be good enough to warrant me watching it on my own (me being an adult and making my own choices and all). So to all my bloggees, bloggettes, and bloggisimos, let's do this.....when ER comes on this season for the first episode, NOBODY WATCH! Tell your friends -- email your enemies -- call your mechanic -- carry signs outside large sporting events. Let's organize the first boycott of the Networks' insulting of our intelligence. That would be great -- the Nielsen ratings come back, and ER had a .000000000000000000012 share (3 people in Guam tuned in). Let's do it, peoples!!

Fay does WHAT ???

Fay has entered Florida and is refilling the Everglades, Lake Okeechobee, and some people's basements as she is scheduled to take a turn and form a question mark pattern (?) across the state. Very strange pattern, unlike anything that I've ever seen. By the way, nobody in Florida needs a basement. It's a status symbol for the wanna-look-rich-and-famous, but Cap'n Bob says go get yourself a nice wine rack, stick it in the corner and quit being so foo foo! If you have guests coming in, they don't want to sleep in your stinkin' basement - that's why they build Embassy Suites, for goodness sake.

Over the past few years the Government has declared deadlines for having passports, for travel outside the US. In each case so far, they've extended the deadline. It's currently scheduled to be by June 2009, and this time it may be the real deal. Yes there's been some crying wolf going on (have you ever known the Government to get it right on the first try?), but eventually we have to become like EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON THE PLANET, and have valid passports to travel outside our borders. We Americans have been very complacent about that basically forever, but in this day and age it's a good idea to know someone is actually doing background checks on the people sitting next to you on the plane. Or boarding your ship. We strongly advise anyone who has not yet secured a passport to get rolling. OK, so it's about $100. The passport is good for a decade -- don't you think it's worth $10 bucks a year to have more secure skies, seaports, etc? For me it's a no-brainer. Plus it's very cool to have your passport stamped in foreign countries, and years later you can look back and remember your trip exactly, day-by-day, based on those stamps.

Another reason to get passports sooner, rather than later....let's say you're going on a cruise between now and June 2009, and one of your family members gets hurt or seriously ill, and you need to get off the ship in Mexico (or wherever) to fly back to the USA. NO CAN DO without a passport!! When you're on a cruise, you are allowed to go ashore for excursions for the day, because it's like having a day-long visa to visit the country. But to physically get off the ship to "land", which is required before you could fly out, is impossible if your documentation is inadequate. No, you'll have to stay on the ship until you reach a US port(such as San Juan or St. Thomas) that is reachable by air back to the mainland USA, and you will only have limited medical care on board the vessel. Is that worth the risk to you or your family? Not me, when $10 dollars a year can make it right.

That's all I'm sayin'.......

Come Monday, it'll be alright....

Congratulations to the Chinese women's gymnastics team, all of whom turned 9 yrs. old this morning. The eye makeup certainly made you look like MUCH more mature ladies....mid-30's maybe? Sort of like Brooke Shields in "Pretty Baby".

Let's talk about cruise news. In a day and age when complicated travel plans frustrate the poo out of many people, the best thing a supplier could do is SIMPLIFY the procedure. I've always liked simple, and get frustrated when something unexpected jumps into my path. That's actually happened a lot in my life, and some day on my headstone there will be a simple engraving:

"Here lies Cap'n Bob. On the crowded 2-lane highway of life, he was always behind the guy who was trying to turn left."
If that's too deep for you, please return to SesameStreet.com.

But here's the news from Carnival Cruise Line Friday afternoon.....one by one, they are planning to re-categorize their ships over the next year. Why are they doing it? As the old joke goes, "because they can". What does it mean exactly? It means a subtle price increase, for anyone wanting a mid-ship cabin location. In the past, their ships had categories that stretched the entire length of the ship. Example: Category 6A was an oceanview room, anywhere on Riviera Deck. Now 6A is an oceanview on Riviera Deck forward and aft, but all the midship cabins on Riviera Deck will be called 6B. Each deck will follow suit, meaning the creation of new categories. These are not new cabins, just re-named old ones. Carnival's sister companies Holland America, Cunard and Princess have done this for years, so it's not a new concept. They basically just took the EASIEST cruise line to sell and explain to clients, and put it into the same mosh pit as all the rest. Somehow, cruise lines fail to understand a basic concept. And I'm not picking on Carnival, it's every one of them. The people who have never cruised before are not afraid of the water.....that's not why they don't cruise. It's because they're confused and intimidated by 20+ different levels of pricing, which now is expanding even more. With the intimidation factor increased, and for all the good this will do for Carnival's bottom line, it may also have the effect of quietly driving business away. Only time will tell. More and more with itineraries and categories in flux, you need to speak directly with a "live" travel agent, to get the inside scoop. Sometimes there are benefits to things like new categories, and other times they are an illusion. You won't necessarily know the truth if you book direct, or speak to a cruise line rep. Their interest is selling you product, pure and simple. Our interest is selling you the RIGHT product, so you'll come back to us every year, and refer your friends to us as well.

Tropical Storm Fay churns away and has lots of liquid aimed directly at Florida. If it doesn't pack terrible winds, it could actually turn out to be a productive storm. Florida and much of the Southeast is in the midst of a years-long draught, and this could certainly fill the coffers to the brim again. Any time you're traveling during hurricane season to Florida, Mexico, the Caribbean etc. you have to be prepared to be prepared. Yes the prices are great from mid-August to mid-November, but there are reasons for that. Prices down, risk up! We strongly suggest our negotiated AIG Travel Guard trip insurance to clients traveling during that time, as part of your protection and coverage has to do with these major storms. Still, we're hoping Fay is no more dangerous to the USA than her namesake was to King Kong. Maybe Florida's beauty will kill the beast.

Thank Trump It's Friday!

Not everyone is a big fan of Donald Trump, but I must say I was very impressed this morning, when I read he is buying Ed McMahon's house, to lease it back to him for a reasonable amount. Not because they're friends -- he doesn't know McMahon, but he said he always used to watch him on TV as a young man, and thinks it's just the right thing to do.
That's pretty cool. Message to The Donald: The Cap'n is also a cultural icon (obviously), and I'm doggone tired of paying rent on this boat. Please send 1.38 Million $$$ to my Cayman Islands account # 604591G. If you need to round up or down, it won't hurt my feelings. Thanks, Buddy.

Interesting cruise note.....in the past, Tahiti and the islands of French Polynesia have normally had as many as 3 cruise choices for people wanting 7, 10 or 11 day cruises on a true cruise ship with all the amenities, features, shows and dining choices you don't get on a sailing vessel. In the past year, there were 2 choices that fit that profile. However, in 2009, Princess has decided to shift some of its itineraries, leaving only Regent Cruise Line's "Paul Gauguin" doing that itinerary. The good news, Paul Gauguin has wonderful food and service, and only carries a little over 300 passengers, offering a personalized luxury cruise experience. The bad news, because it's a smaller ship, many dates are heavily sold already. I called yesterday for a client who wanted a balcony cabin, any time in March 2009. Guess what - too late! There is not a balcony or suite to be had during the entire month. So if you are considering Tahiti on a cruise for next year, get up from this blog, pick up the phone and call us RIGHT NOW! Of course you can also fly to Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora etc but with the government imposing a 400+ percent import duty on everything flown to the islands, it can be a daunting price tag for meals, entertainment, etc. With the cruise, you get to sample all the islands with overnights on the 2 most popular. Great stuff.

How you feeling today? Young? Spry? Agile? Here's a reality check: Madonna, Prince and Michael Jackson all turn 50 this month. ** sigh **

This morning I was reading CNN news with my cup of Grog before heading up to the bridge to work, and I saw a disarming article about DisneyLand in Anaheim, CA. Seems there are some
disgruntled hotel workers (the rest are gruntled, of course), who caused a bit of a scene. But a picture is worth a thousand words, so here's the story:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/15/disney.protesters.ap/index.html

Just imagine you're walking up to the entry gate, Mommy, Daddy and the 3 little Punkins, and that's how your day starts. Good luck getting those kids to sleep over the next 10-12 years!
"Can't we all just get along?"

Lastly, I got some responses from yesterday's blog, telling me I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT Q-TIPS IN MY EARS. What do you want me to do, wax poetic? I'm pretty sure you can keep that idea to yourselves. Next thing, you'll be telling me I shouldn't be licking the A-1 Sauce off my steak knife, or sticking my face into the pot, bobbing for lobsters. You eat your way, The Cap'n will eat any way he darn well pleases!! Over and out.

The Cap'n is back above deck!

Arrrrr, Mateys. The Captain has been confined to quarters for the last week, and no -- it wasn't seasickness! Cap'n Bob was born with Sea Legs, in addition to a Sea-Section. No, my ailment had Medical professionals and researchers baffled for years, before finally being able to figure a diagnosis and treatment. The Latin name for it is "Da Crud". But I'm back in action now, happily and jauntily swabbing the decks (as well as my ears -- thank you Q-Tips Brand).

So what's happened since my last Captain's Log? Well, Tampa Florida has both good news and bad news happening. The good news, The Rays are in 1st place and still playing excellent baseball. The bad news, the Harbor Pilots appear to have broken into the cache of Rum, and made some decisions that could cripple that city as a seaport. Sometimes the seaports see the cruise ships as a cash cow, and they want to milk 'em dry. Guess what. Ships have propellers, and they can MOOOVE (another hilarious cow reference.....sometimes I kill myself). Anyway, here's the story:

The Harbor Pilots who are so dreadfully overworked (not) have decided they need a 27% pay increase, during a time when fuel prices are ravaging the cruise industry. Oh by the way, I spoke to my boss to see if I could get in on that 27% increase action as well, and he's still crying. From laughter, of course. Carnival Cruises account for about 3/4 of the revenue of the port, along with Holland America and Royal Caribbean. If any one of them -- PARTICULARLY Carnival -- were to remove Tampa as their homeport, guess what happens to the 27%. It goes along with the 100% and 3/4 of the jobs and services for the Port. Maybe they could build another log flume ride, or do glass bottom boat tours to visit where the cruise ships used to be. In reality, Tampa would go back to being its normal "We're not Orlando, but we have still have Busch Gardens and Greyhound Racing" self, while hundreds of jobs and millions in revenue will be lost. Good plan, Harbor Pilots. There's an AA meeting tonight at the Bilge Club.

On a lighter note, gas prices continue to trickle down, and some destinations in the Caribbean are becoming more affordable. Palace Resorts in Mexico still have some bonus deals running, such as golf and spa credits, or swim with the dolphins. That's in addition to being one of the few all-inclusive hotel chains that offers FREE TOURS, as well as their standard all-inclusive amenities. So if you're staying in Cancun or the Mayan Riviera and you want to see the amazing Chichen Itza ruins, that is a complimentary tour. If you're on the West Coast in Puerto Vallarta, you may want to take advantage of the gorgeous Sunset Cruise. All built in to your package. We can get discounted rates to Palace Resorts from virtually any air gateway that services Mexico, and can advise you which properties are best for families, which for couples, etc.

Hope everyone is enjoying the Olympics.

YOOOOOOO ESSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAY

Aug. 7th, TGIT (P-F?)

Thursday is a ho-hum name, don't you think? Sounds like Thirst Day, which is really unattractive in the heat of August! The Cap'n is starting a groundswell movement today, which you are encouraged to join and carry through the Heartland, to officially re-name Thursday. Call your Congressman (or woman). Email your Senator (or Senatette). Call the President (or High Priestess). Let's get this crummy day re-named Pre-Friday! What a difference we'd all feel, if we could struggle through Wednesday and suddenly it's Pre-Friday, and the weekend is nearly upon us. Yee-HAW!!



Today's topic, aimed at 1st time cruisers, is "what type of cabin should I get?". Non-sailors assume, from watching old Love Boat re-runs that only show Fernando Lamas and Shelly Winters cavorting in their luxury suite, that cruise ship cabins are big, spacious critters that are as large or larger than hotel rooms. If money's no object, we can make that happen! But most people are going to settle into a more normal cabin, which can be as large as about 250 sq. feet or as tiny as 100 sq. feet. Perspective time: 100 sq. feet is 10' X 10', which includes your closet, shower/restroom combo, and living area. People in San Quentin might be jealous of such luxurious digs, but we always try to get our clients into something a little nicer if the budget allows. Anything around 150 sq. feet or bigger is at least livable for as long as you're on the ship. Most ships have a maximum capacity of 4 in a cabin (for families), but the more people you have in 1 room, the more space we recommend. You have suitcases and stuff! It's vacation, and you don't want to feel like you're torturing yourselves by being too tight. Another suggestion for 1st timers is to consider AT LEAST an oceanview room, instead of an "interior" cabin. Do you know what an inside or interior cabin is? It's a room on the interior hallway, with no window. Four nice pretty walls, pitch black inside, but you don't know if it's sunny, rainy, if you're in port or out to sea -- you're in what we call The Box. Can you imagine telling your family "I booked us a great hotel in Aspen. The only thing is it doesn't have a window." Your wife and young'uns will look at all 3 of your heads, and wonder when Homer Simpson took over Dad. The window cabins do cost a little more, but they are worth the difference in money! Especially if you have no idea about whether your family could experience any sort of motion sickness. When you're in The Box, the slightest movement happens and you start re-playing Titanic in your head. When you have a window, you can look out and see the waves are maybe only 5 inches high, and you're at an angle where these "ground swells" are causing a nice gentle motion. Your psyche is immediately put to rest, and you'll learn to love the motion of the ocean, while people in The Box are calling the ship's doctor for Dramamine!



By that same token, if the budget allows, we think EVERYONE should experience a private balcony cabin on a cruise ship. Many of today's ships are being built with 50%, 60% or even more balconies, and they are much more affordable than in the old days, when you had 500 cabins and only a dozen suites. Supply-and-demand. Balconies tend to be a bit larger (some with a little sitting area), and you can actually get FRESH SEA AIR, which is spectacular instead of breathing re-cycled air conditioning. Also, balconies are on the higher decks, and just like in a building you'll get a more dramatic, panoramic view than you would looking out from the 1st or 2nd floor. There are even more categories on some ships -- mini-suites and various levels of full suites, that get you extra amenities. Some offer butler service, plush bathrobes, express check-in, or many other perks. Those also tend to be significantly larger, and some of the top-end suites can be enormous. So there's something for every budget, and every style.



We have lots more tips for 1st-timers, as well as long-timers, which can be shared any time you call or email to book with us. We know what cabins you want, and what cabins you DON'T want! With these mega-ships out there now, 3 or more football fields long, and up to 20 stories high, there are lots of choices. We at Mann Travels are pros at knowing what's hot and what's not.

Planes, Strains and Automobiles (movie theme homage)

August 6th, 2008 A.D. The strains people are facing at the gas pump appear to be easing again, with the Oil Powers realizing we're mad as heck and we're not going to take it anymore. Maybe that's not the real reason, but it's good to see some logic coming into play. Still, there are certain industries such as the airlines, which have been crippled by horrendous fuel costs. In talking to clients, I've tried to defend them overall, explaining that we can't go back to Desi & Lucy of the 1950's, when gourmet meals and beverages were free, served to you by models/stewardesses in neatly-pressed uniforms and YOUR COMFORT & SATISFACTION actually mattered. I don't think anyone is offended by actually paying for a delicious, refreshing ice-cold Coke (by the way, Coca-Cola...... please send The Cap'n a nice fat royalty check for promoting your product in the blog). The way airline meals have deteriorated over the past few decades, most people are just as glad to pass on the food anyway. For those who walked by the countless Burger Kings (royalties???), Chili's ($$$$?????) and such in the airport before boarding their flights, it shouldn't be a surprise to have to pay.

Enough of the defending. Recently, most airlines have started charging a per-bag fee for checked luggage. Some are on a sliding scale, such as $25 for the 1st bag, $50 for the next and $100 for a 3rd (and yes, that's EACH DIRECTION!!). What we have here is a failure to communicate! After 9/11 lots of people chose not to fly for various reasons, but one that sticks out is because it's such as hassle at the airport, with all the added security. Your 2-hour flight becomes a 5-hour ordeal. So now the airlines have decided to complicate it further, and they are charging people for bags during check-in, slowing the process exponentially!!

BRIGHT IDEA MR. AIRLINE BOSSMAN: Here's a thought -- why not just increase your ticket prices to a level where you'll make a profit? Pretty dramatic concept, which college freshmen learn in Business 101 when they're almost able to shave.

BRIGHT IDEA MR. AIRLINE BOSSMAN PART DEAUX: If you really are going to do this baggage thing, here's another concept -- DO IT RIGHT! Instead of charging people $25 per bag, or $50 per bag, charge them by weight -- the same way UPS, FEDEX and the USPS do. Why do they do it that way? Because it makes sense! Why should someone bringing a light suitcase filled with underwear and thin sweaters pay the same amount as some lug carrying a suitcase full of bowling balls? Result? People would pack less, lightening your planes' load, increasing your fuel efficiency and creating a chance you could save your airline from bankruptcy. It's just a thought.

Now for the most ridiculous move yet -- this week, a company which will remain unnamed (let's call them Jet Indigo) has taken the recent extreme moves to the mountaintop. You know how they keep planes about 58 degrees at altitude? Jet Indigo announced they are going to charge a fee of $7 for a blanket and pillow!! Yes, the blanket that is just larger than a Puffs Plus with Aloe (royalties again????), and the pillow that is about the same size and thickness as a piece of Quilted Northern Bathroom Tissue (you know????). I'll tell you what, peoples.....if a flight attendant asked me for $7 for those little items, I'd look him or her straight in the eye and say, "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? I don't see anyone else asking for a 3" pillow and 5" blanket -- you talkin to ME??!!!" Oh wait. there's more. They realize what an ABSURD PIECE OF GARBAGE IDEA this is, so they're throwing in a bonus feature. I'm telling you, you can't make this stuff up. For your $7 you get the trifecta of a pillow, blanket AND a $5 certificate for Bed Bath and Beyond. Holy Mother of Corporate Greed, Batman! With me being a huge sports fan, and a mid-50's outdoorsy guy, I can't tell you how many weekends I spend browsing the aisles of Bed Bath and Beyond for toothbrush holders and maybe a cute little earth-toned towel to WIPE MY GOLF CLUBS. Jet Indigo, please check yourself into rehab. You're officially insane. Take off, eh, you hoser.

Don't give up on flying though, people. We can still get some nice values on flights when they are combined with a hotel stay in tourism areas such as the Caribbean, Hawaii, Vegas or others. Just because the airlines are a wee-bit stressed and strained, they still get you where you want to go and when it's vacation time, that's very important. There's nothing better than being on vacation, leaning out over your balcony overlooking a tropical paradise, extending your arms side-to-side, tilting your head back, and saying "I'm King Of The World!" It helps if you have Kate Winslet wrapped around you for effect, but whatever......

Happy Cinco De Augusto!

The price of gas is beginning to come down, and is now nearly as cheap as a gallon of milk. Thank heavens I can stop putting milk in my car (it really affects my acceleration, though it's convenient when I want to stop at a Rest Stop for a bowl of my good friend, Cap'n Crunch).

I'm starting to get excited about my next trip -- VEGAS, Baby! Been to Vegas recently? If not, you're missing some cool new stuff. There is so much building and expansion going on, it's a bit mind-boggling. City Center is starting to take shape. Summer is just about over, but Las Vegas really has some excellent values during summer months (even last-minute just a few days before departure, if you can still find availability). Once NFL football and Convention months arrive, it's harder to locate killer deals. But we always have something for Vegas, whether you want the old Downtown area, somewhere off the strip (such as a hotel & spa), or something right in the middle of the action.

I recently visited the new Planet Hollywood, formerly Aladdin, but if you had ever seen Aladdin you won't recognize the place now!! It's new, hip, young, energetic, and WOW. They have the Miracle Mile Shops, some of the best shopping in all of Vegas. I was fortunate enough to catch their show "Stomp Out Loud", and although I wasn't sure it would be my cup of tea going in, it was excellent and thoroughly enjoyable. As a former drummer, I was amazed at the rhythmic flow and excellent choreography of the drum work as well. Plus unlike most Vegas shows, this one has characters you can relate to, and a dry sense of humor. Great value!

Something else that's not completely new to Vegas, but has grown ten-fold, is the emphasis on celebrity chefs and food. Credit the Food Network for lighting that fire, and it's pretty cool to see restaurants run by the big boys you see on TV. Yes there's still Burger King, McDonald's, Denny's and all the buffets, but there are culinary heights to explore. I have a food "system" when I go to Vegas. It's easy, fun and literally anyone can do it. If you've ever played craps (dice), you know it's a game where money flies fast and free. I set aside a time every morning to go to the dice table, and stay 15 minutes. PERIOD (unless a roll is in progress, in which case I play until a 7-out). At the end of 15 minutes, that sets my food agenda for the day. If I'm down, it's buffets and burgers for me all day! However if after 15 minutes I'm up, I take the amount I'm up and put it into a separate pants pocket, to treat myself to at least one food venue later in the day. If you don't have pants, go put some pants on! It's Vegas, but you're gonna get arrested!! But that's my system in a nutshell -- whenever I want to visit Mario Batali's steakhouse, the dice pay the tab! Feel free to contact me any time for suggestions or rates for Vegas, or just about anywhere else.

+++++TIP ON BOOKING VEGAS+++++

Friday and Saturday nights, the hotels are double (or more) the weekday price. That's because EVERYBODY wants to go for a quick weekend, and it's not only people flying in, but the people who are close enough to drive in from LA, Phoenix, etc. If you want to get the most bang for your buck, plan on booking any days Sunday through Friday and it will save you a lot. Sometimes you can even just skip Friday and save a bundle.....on my trip, I'm flying out early Saturday morning, so I'll get all the late-afternoon NCAA football games Saturday, NFL on Sunday, and Monday Night Football as well, before coming back home. Skipping the Friday night and using this schedule saved me over $200 since the flights were cheaper that day.
Another tip, if you're ever playing poker with me and you have a pair of 3's, please go ALL IN. I could use the cash, thanks. Final tip, if you've never seen the "Second City" comedy/improv show, there is a Las Vegas chapter in the Flamingo hotel, and at about $50 per person it's one of the best value shows in Vegas. You'll laugh 'til you cry, but if you're offended by slightly blue humor, it's not a family show. But it IS a hoot.

Monday - Tropical Storm Edouard being evil

Looks like we're in a good news/bad news situation this week, with Edouard (who approved the spelling on that thing?!) hovering in the Gulf. The good news is that much of Texas needs rain and relief from 100+ degree temperatures, AND let's call him "Eddie" is not supposed to turn into a full-fledge hurricane prior to landfall. So that may prove to be a win/win for Texas.
Now the bad news, and it brings up a point about cruising during hurricane season. Anyone who has booked cruises leaving from any of the Gulf Coast ports, from Galveston to Tampa and all points in between, it's going to be a bumpy ride as Eddie greets you and tries to test your capacity for Dramamine.

ALWAYS PLAY THE ODDS WHEN BOOKING A TRIP DURING HURRICANE SEASON (at least whenever you have a choice). Nobody is ever going to promise you good weather on a trip, but when you're thinking about traveling, whether on a ship or not, be aware that storms happen. And they happen more frequently during specific seasons, such as right now! When looking at cruises during hurricane season, I always try to get clients to at least consider sailing from Miami or Ft. Lauderdale instead of the Gulf area. Why? Go grab yourself a map before reading on.....go ahead, I'll wait......la de da de....OH you're back. Ok, notice if you are sailing out of Galveston, Mobile or Tampa you are encircled by the Gulf of Mexico. If there happens to be a storm there, you are a sitting duck riding it out. There's no alternate set of ports, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide (I'm hearing a 60's song in my head). However -- let's say you booked a cruise to Mexico from Miami, and there was a huge storm right in your path. The cruise lines will often instruct their Captains to divert the ship, and take the passengers to the Bahamas, or Turks & Caicos, where it's bright sunshine and not a cloud in the sky. Huge benefit! Keep in mind these new ships often cost $700-800 million dollars, so the cruise lines have a strong interest in not only keeping you safe, but also keeping the ships out of harm's way. Ok, so maybe it cost you a little more to get to Miami instead of sailing from the port that was close enough to drive to. But when you're out there in a storm, and the seas are tossing and turning with no land in sight, you'll be wishing you'd have made a different decision. Don't get me wrong, those itineraries and ports are fine for most of the year, but during the hardcore 3-month period of hurricanes, mid-July to mid-October, you're taking some risks with your vacation. You may be a seasoned enough sailor that you don't mind a little motion...or a lot...but that's your call. I'm just here to advise.

If hurricane season is the time you need to travel, and you want to greatly reduce the risk of storms, you can consider flying to the furthest-south islands such as Aruba or Curacao. Costs more to fly there for sure, since those islands are only about 80-100 miles from South America, but the trade winds and geographical dynamics keep 99% of hurricanes away. But if you want to cruise, another option is the west coast of Mexico (also called the Mexican Riviera). There are fewer storms than in the Caribbean and Gulf. However, just like the Gulf, they don't have an alternate set of ports, so if a storm does come up, you're in it.

Instead of sounding all negative, there are also advantages to cruising during hurricane season. Schools are just starting back up, so it's hard for families, teachers and administrators to get away, meaning from supply and demand the rates will be fantastic! Usually the lowest of the year. Temperatures in the Caribbean are more comfortable in the fall than during mid-summer, making for a nice cruise vacation. For people who like relaxing without as many kids on board, it's a perfect time to sail. You just have to realize the odds and make the best choices, to maximize your experience.

FINAL NOTE ON CRUISING during H-Season........sometimes people have said to me "We're going to the Caribbean in September, but I don't want to be on a ship!" My response to them is "Oh yes you do!!" What you don't want is to be booked on an island that's in the direct path of an oncoming hurricane. Do you really think you're going to the airport to get out? The Prime Minister, his cronies, and all the rich & powerful people on the island will be getting out, but you're much more likely to be riding out the storm and working on your Genesis-Revelations readings. Cruises are mobile! They have radar and get the same reports from their headquarters you see on the news, so they'll turn tail and run from a storm instead of putting you in it. So don't be so quick to dismiss cruising during the late summer and fall months. It's still a fantastic value, and offers you big advantages over many island resorts.

Captain's Log......8/1/08

Ah, the dog days of Summer are barking and we're scratching off the fleas of July. Remember my motto, "Today is the first day of the rest of this week". Words to live by, truly.

A customer called in saying there don't appear to be any deals for Feb. 2009 on the internet. There are reasons for that (although deals DO exist.....you just have to know where they are). 10 years ago you could find discounted fares listed on the internet, but cruise lines realized they were allowing the secondary market to undercut the value of their product, so they removed the ability to discount - which is why you see the same prices wherever you look for the most part. Also, when it's the middle of winter, EVERYBODY wants to go someplace warm. With airlines cutting back on flights to the Caribbean, Mexico, etc. the best way to get there is on a cruise! Keep in mind this industry is just like any commodity, governed by supply-and-demand. Mid-winter, when people haven't seen the sun for 3 or 4 months, demand is super-high, which affects pricing adversely. So that's why deals "appear" to be few during winter months.

One of the best ways to save money is to deal with a large supplier, such as the Company where I work. Large, well-established agencies with deep pockets will often have blocks of space on various ships and various dates, so flexibility on your part is key (nobody has space on every ship, every sailing). Just yesterday, I sold someone a 7-day Caribbean cruise on the Carnival Glory on Feb. 21, 2009 and the cruise rate was only $390 per person!! Of course you have to add the government taxes, port charges and fuel supplement which combined add almost another $300 to the reservation, but you're still talking about less than $100 per day for all your meals, entertainment, and a glorious week-long cruise during the middle of the winter. So YES, Viriginia, there are deals if you do it right.

++++++++ MYTHOLOGY ALERT!!!++++++++++

At least once a week, I get a call from someone wanting to go away this week or next, and they think 1) cruise lines are giving away space last-minute, and 2) someone out there has a block of space they're still selling. As to the first point, cruise lines price their product in such a way as to try to be 100% SOLD OUT about 2-3 weeks prior to any departure. That means if you call late, and they happen to have a couple of cabins left, it's a Howie Mandel NO DEAL!! You're going to be paying through the nose, as it's supply-and-demand backwards. Virtually no supply, and still a demand. No soup for you! On the 2nd point, cruise lines are not stupid, and neither are agencies. They allow us to purchase blocks of space, but when it reaches 2 1/2 - 3 months prior to departure they give you a choice -- either pay the balance on the cabins you're still holding un-sold (and good luck trying to sell them), or turn them back in to the cruise line without penalty. That way, the cruise lines have a handle on their inventory, but it would be ludicrous for agencies to hold space on the chance they might sell it. If they don't sell it, they eat it! So the notion of getting a great deal last-minute is just that....a notion. It was true back when the lines were privately owned 20 years ago, but now they're publicly-traded companies with scads of accountants and consultants. They figured out how to do it correctly and profitably. So my advice to all travelers is PLAN AHEAD and use a major agency to find the best values!