Attention Good People Of The World -- Get A REAL Game!!

Got me again. While I didn't have World Cup Fever, and in fact didn't even break a World Cup Sweat, I did try my best to follow the "action" this time. For the last time. Team USA was hype and hoax, the officiating was worse than the SOAP-OPERA ACTING of the players, and the culmination of it all was the World Cup Final. It was supposed to be the peak of everything good about "Fut-ball", but if you watched the fans in the stands, they weren't excited. They weren't filled with nervous anticipation. They were bored out of their minds, just like those of us at home who watched Le Grande Snooze-Fest, while trying to keep the volume low to avoid those insane vuvuzela sounds. You can take the worst Super Bowl in history, or the lousiest World Series or NBA Finals or virtually any other sport ever, and they'll look like The Wizard Of Oz In Technicolor compared to this horrendous unwatchable non-sport non-event. This is what you wait 4 years for? Zero goals for over 2 hours (over and over again, like so many of the matches). Sorry planet Earth, get a REAL game - this one is pathetic. I've blogged before about how you could "fix" this thing, but the way it stands now there are a few truths to be told.

1) You fooled me once, but I'm done. Forever.
2) Watching fishing on ESPN is more fun and exciting than Fut-ball.
3) You'll find better acting on NBC's "Chuck"
4) Soccer Refs and WWE Wrestling Refs are identical. "You say ONE MORE THING, and I'm gonna...you know...write your name down on this little yellow card, and tell the teacher when she comes back." Maybe it would be more entertaining if one of the players snuck up behind the Ref and hit him over the back of the head with a folding chair, and he could lay there pretending to be unconscious while the game goes on around him. Vince McMahon, where are you when we really need you?

According to an ESPN report, in the midst of the World Cup people may have missed Germany's win over Barbados, in the Woz Challenge Cup. This was an eight-team "polo" tournament, but with a twist. The players were not on horseback, but instead rode Segways. The sport is said to have been created by Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, whose team the Silicon Valley Aftershocks competed again this year in Barbados, though in a losing effort. Wozniak told ESPN.com that his own polo skills are fading, but the San Jose Mercury News reported in May that Woz's fearlessness on the Segway seems hardly diminished. He's still one of the more feared competitors, if in fact ANY of the participants can be called "feared." The people of Barbados took things in stride, and when asked about the level of athleticism and the sporting skills of the participants, most enjoyed the motorized polo but described the athletes themselves as "nerdy, pudgy and pale."

After watching soccer, I'll give the Woz Cup a try next time!