Stimulus? How Stimulating!

The last couple of weeks have shown your 7th Grade Science Project, effectively hard at work. Even single-celled organisms understand the concept that a Stimulus leads invariably to a Response. Miriam Webster's little book describes the word Stimulus as: something that rouses or incites to activity. Delving further, they add: an agent that directly influences the activity of a living organism, or one of its parts (we won't go there, thank you very much). There are a lot of parts to our National Stimulus Package that haven't yet been successful, but it's pretty obvious "Cash For Clunkers" has been a huge hit. Clean up the environment, sell new cars, give people a deal when they're down on their luck, create new jobs and maybe more importantly, create a sense that everything is starting to get back to normal. Even if these are baby steps forward. The travel industry has seen its share of serious repercussions during the turn-down of the last year, but we are starting to see an increase as well. People might not buy a new shirt or stereo, but they WILL go on vacation. That demand acts as a stimulus in its own right, getting people to call or email looking for a deal. And the deals are still out there! However, as the stock market continues its trek Northward, and people see extra dollars in their bank accounts and stock portfolios, the hotels and cruise lines and package vendors are going to try to re-coup some of their 2008-2009 losses. That's why I'm expecting price increases coming very soon. So it would be in your best interest, if you still have time off to take this year, to contact me right away. Let's discuss the options for shipping you off to that vacation you so desperately deserve! Now if I can only convince my Congressman to take my suggestions on "Cash For VCR's And 8-Track Tapes" and my other brain-child, "Cash For Pants That Don't Fit As Nicely As They Used To Since You've Been Eating Pie And Whoppers All The Time You Big Dummy..."

So what did you get me for the big holiday week coming up? No, not Labor Day. And Christmas is still 4+ months away. Although my birthday is special to me, and probably millions of people world-wide will be celebrating it (maybe not), one birthday does not a week make. I'm sure if my Mom had been in labor for a week back in 1951, it would have given Labor Day a whole new meaning, and might have even made the Guinness Book. The holiday week I'm talking about is Aug. 29-Sep. 5, which has been designated National Bowling Week. In fact, USAToday even noted that gobowling.com is offering a coupon for a free game on Sep. 5th, when the bowling powers-that-be are trying to get more people to bowl on that day than ever before in history. Call those Guinness people again! You probably have to check to make sure your local bowling center is honoring the coupon, but that's kind of a cool concept. Lots of people think of bowlers as being over-50 bald guys with big beer-bellies, who are just there to socialize. The social aspect is quite true, but did you know the average bowler in this country is 29-years old? Did you know almost half, a full 49% of all bowlers are female (most of which are neither bald nor have big beer-bellies)? Did you know nearly 70 million of us bowl each year, at nearly 5,500 bowling alleys across the Country? It may not be as big as it was in the 50's, but it's still the best non-sport I know. It's relaxing, in a physical sort of way. I mean, where else can you go where you're instructed to take something heavy, walk up and throw it with all your might, with the sole intention of knocking something over? Man! That's a brat's dream. It's like legal vandalism, and they let you drink beer and eat French Fries while you're doing it. If there's a sweeter sport/non-sport out there, I'd love to hear about it!

(Overheard in Key West): "Honey, what's that awful smell?"
(Wife): "That would be Cuba, Dear."

Last year, the Caribbean island of Cuba was hit with 3 back-to-back-to-back hurricanes, followed by the effects of a global economic downturn. Add to that the continuing US embargo on imports & exports, and Cuba is realizing now it has a serious problem. They make a lot of their own goods, but a shortage of raw materials has kept them from manufacturing enough of one particular item, needed by every man, woman and child-citizen of Cuba. It doesn't matter what your politics are, whether you're counter-revolutionary or a follower of Castro's doctrine. Right now, all that matters is Cuba needs toilet paper. They are suffering form a severe shortage of the square, perforated bliss-on-a-roll, and based on current projections, they may not see a sufficient supply until the end of this year, if there are no further disruptions. Yuck. Sounds like on the show "Cuba's Most Wanted," Number Two has moved up to Number One! Maybe those Communist propaganda leaflets still have some shelf-life.

UPDATE ON SOMALI PIRACY (or not):

Farah Ahmed Omar was recently appointed as Chief of Somalia's Navy, with the express purpose of proving to the world that Somalia is serious about addressing piracy concerns. Mr. Omar will be on the front lines against a throng of well-armed pirates, operating in international waters off the country's North and East coast. He has admitted, though, that his job will be difficult initially. That's mostly because the Somalian Navy has no boats, nor a single sailor. They have Omar. He also admitted to a reporter that he hasn't been to sea in 23 years, and is not crazy about the water. However, he went on to say he was very optimistic that the piracy could be stopped. SEE THERE! All you people who think foreign governments don't cooperate with us, take that one on the chin!