My Name Is Oil...

I know I've been away from my blog for a while, but that's a good thing. Business is UP and I've been too busy to sit down and write my normal drivel - I mean thoughtful prose on travel and the World as I see it. However, today's announcement of impending doom by Princess Cruises got me back in the saddle. Like the debacle of a few years ago, Princess is the first cruise line to institute a new FUEL SUPPLEMENT starting May 10th, for new cruise bookings. They've come up with the magically-delicious formula of $3.85 per person per day. Say what? I know the cost of fuel is eating into cruise line profits, but if you're going to add a supplement, why not make it something easy to remember or explain to people? Something that makes sense like a flat $4.00, or maybe a figure like $3.50 that becomes an even number ($7.00) when you quote double occupancy. $ 3.85 just sounds like something they pulled out of a hat, in an effort to get just a little further under my skin. CONGRATULATIONS - it worked! This on top of Celebrity Cruises' announcement that they are going to have 4 different "drink plan" options on board their ships effective immediately. There will be a soft drink/coffee/juice/water plan clients can purchase, or an upgraded plan that includes name brand flavored waters, energy drinks and smoothies, or another plan that includes some beers, wines and cheaper drinks, and finally the premium plan that includes high-end drinks, beers and wines up to $12 per serving.

Oh goodie. Just a handful of years ago I was on a cruise and purchased the soft drink/juice plan and it was around $26 for the entire 7 night cruise. These new plans start at about $15 per person PER DAY (that's $105 for a 7-night cruise each person), and work their way up to over $56 per person per day for premium levels. That may be fine for the hardest-partying among us, but Joe Average (and his wife Jane) will be tempted to drink more than they ever would back home, in an effort to at least break even....if not get better-than-normal return for their buck on the package. Yes I'm old and yes I'm jaded and yes I can probably drink most of you under the Poop Deck, but when all-inclusive resorts are cutting deep into cruise lines' market share, it strikes me as particularly lousy timing to try to show how LESS inclusive modern cruises are by comparison. It's changing the way I look at the industry as a whole, and is certainly affecting how I make vacation suggestions to clients. As Mr. T would say, "I pity the fuel.....supplement...."

Speaking of oil, and who isn't these days, BP has decided to reclaim the Gulf of Mexico for Great Britain, 1 endangered species at a time. So far, the cruise industry has been unaffected or only slightly so, and it's a bit of a wait-and-see on how it's going to affect the tourism of some of the United States' finest beaches, even though most people don't know how sugar-white the sand is along Alabama and the Florida panhandle. I'm not sure why any jut of land is called a panhandle, particularly when they're large and square or long and jagged. Every handle of a pan I've ever held was smooth and black and usually said "Made In China" on the underside, but I digress. On a serious tone (I always hate to use the word sober, being a man of the drink), future generations of Americans are going to miss things we take for granted, such as fresh water and living creatures, if somebody doesn't get a grip on the influence of Big Oil. Corruption is virtually assumed of Congress and the back-slapping buddy system that's been in place since your Grandpappy's Grandpappy's day. This ain't the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, but it's high time (thank you Cheech & Chong) to look at more than filling SUV's with unlimited supplies of a limited, polluting material. Wake up and smell the petroleum, America. It's coming to get you and it's coming fast.

An 82-year-old man from India, Prahlad Jani, claims he has lived for the last 70 years without any food or drink. Jani says he left home when he was seven, and has lived as a wandering holy man, who can live on breath and spiritual life force alone. He claims he is sustained by a goddess who pours an "elixir" through a hole in his palate. Jani is now being studied by Indian military experts, who believe he could teach soldiers or disaster victims how to survive longer without food or drink. One spokesman said, "If Jani's claims are verified, it will truly be a breakthrough in medical science." Another unnamed spokesman said, "The guy weighs 3/4 of an ounce - I thought he was a talking piece of dust. If his claims are verified, he must be famished!" Jani was last seen carrying a half-dozen pizza boxes down an alley, to which he said "No, no, these are empties. I'm just helping my friend clean his porch...."