Greece Is The Word

Watching the stock market today, the only words that come to mind are compliments of Hank Hill, "What the Hell?" Insiders who know how these knee-jerk things work probably got rich or richer between 2pm and 4pm today. Panic mode drove the market South by nearly 1,000 points, and within a couple of hours it was 2/3 of the way back to par. All this because Greece can't get its political act together, and the shockwaves cross the Atlantic like a tsunami. Makes me want to swear off Feta Cheese in an effort to say "So there!" Hopefully everybody will unwad their undergarments, and get back to working to make this a better world. Just about everyone alive has witnessed some sort of European political crisis of some sort, whether it's Italy this week or France or Greece the next, and things always have a way of working themselves out. Maybe not without some pain, but days like today are more likely to be buying opportunities than selling. Unless the Earth is coming to an end by around 5pm, when you see stocks like Apple drop 12-15 points, that's a welcome mat to buy more. IPods, IPhones, IPads, and IAnythings are not going away - they're the way of the world, my peeps. Get on that train and ride. Even though stocks are mostly Greek to me, Greece is the word (is the word, is the word) today for making some wise market moves.

After the recent situation in New York's Times Square, the U.S. Gub'Ment has ordered airlines to update their no-fly lists within 2 hours of a new information release. I heard that, and immediately thought "it's about time." Then, after cocking my head to the side like a Labrador Retriever who thinks he just heard a whistle and does that mean dinner or is my owner going to give me a bath, I thought...."wait a darn minute." We're allowing the AIRLINES to check the no-fly lists? The same airlines who are so hurting for money they'll do almost anything to fill seats on their planes? Those airlines? The same ones who have been known for bureaucratic ineptitude that makes the Federal Gub'Ment look like finely-tuned Chinese acrobats? Those airlines? Well, I've never been a proponent of big government in general, but sometimes when it comes to National Security, you have to take the sharp objects away from the parties-most-likely-to-puncture-themselves and stand guard yourself. I'd have no problem if my tax dollars went towards more supervision of flight lists and who's on 'em, as opposed to building monuments or paying farmers NOT to grow Crop A or B. Seriously, airlines can no more police themselves, and in turn YOU AND ME, than they can figure out how to earn a profit in their business without bringing up things like charging money for carry-ons. It's all about cutting corners wtih most of them, and when lives are in the balance, I'm going to cast my vote for a government big enough to accept this kind of challenge.

Remember the Disney movie, "All Dogs Go To Heaven?" Yeah, me neither but SOMEBODY out there must have watched it. In fact, it's apparently inspired the faithful in the small town of Danvers, Massachusetts. Calvary Episcopal Church in Danvers will later this month offer its first Perfect Paws Pet Ministry, aimed at giving area dogs and their owners improved odds at getting into Heaven. The church plans to hold a service for dogs, on the 3rd Sunday every month, complete with communion for their human counterparts and special blessings for Fido and friends. Instead of communion wafers, dogs will get special treats. Church officials have said all well-mannered, leashed dogs are invited. People can pre-submit a prayer on paper, if their pets are sick, or if they require better temperment around other dogs, or if the family pup has become, how you say, deceased. Prayers can also be offered for other types of pets, though emphasis will be on living up to the Canine Commandments. I'm pretty sure #1 is "Thou shalt not leave anything on the carpet....bad doggie" (more or less). Somehow, I'm picturing a French Poodle at a New England Patriots game, with the top of his hair colored to look like a rainbow wig, holding up a sign saying "Jaques 3:13"

Pantyhose Shortage?

Cops in Nebraska are searching for a man who robbed a shop-owner with a knife earlier this week. Apparently the man was desperate - he either couldn't find, or couldn't afford a real bad-guy type mask. Not even the .99cent Halloween type like cheap plastic Sponge Bob. Not even a pair pantyhose, new or used. The thief came into the business right at closing time, wielding a knife wildly, his head completely wrapped in toilet paper except for an eye-hole and a small opening to speak. He probably appeared to be closer to The Unknown Comic than Al Capone at that moment, but he demanded money and was able to escape with an unspecified amount. A police sniffer dog tried to track the suspect, but was only able to discover a trail of toilet paper sheets that eventually ended. Is it just me, or is there some comedy in having a sniffer dog follow a trail of toilet paper? "Sarge, I think he's got something over here - eh, no maybe not. I believe he just discovered where Jake's cows have been meditating after filling up on corn meal...."