Yesterday I was lying in my hammock on the aft deck, chasing a few hot toddies with some cold ones after dinner. I found myself thinking the same things you do when you're relaxing....what's the meaning of life, where can I get my hands on $700 billion dollars to make everything ok again, is that a fly in my rum or just a piece of lint, you know - the usual stuff. Anyway, it took me back to a time much earlier in my life (sometime around 3pm last Monday) when it had occurred to me that HEY! For a retired Skipper, I'm not such a hack writer compared to most. Sometimes after a half-dozen Rum swizzles, I actually make myself laugh while bloggin', and hope my audience has the same reaction. So I thinks to me-self "My legacy on Earth is gonna be this-here junky little skiff-of-a-boat, a few photographs of me fishin', a rock opera I wrote on my accordian, and this blog about travel and stuff. I need to expand my electronic footprint by reaching every person on the planet." You think that's such an overwhelming impossibility? Obviously you have not enjoyed the same half-dozen glasses of swill that I have when preparing your life goals. But ye of little faith, lemme assure you:
The Cap'n has a plan!
Here's where we start, and BOY this is simple. I'm guessing, conservatively, I have close to triple-digit readership, maybe more. But let's just say it's a hunnert of you (that means 100, for those who don't understand sea-dog verbiage). For the most part, I figure all of you have computers since that's where I write this stuff. There may be a couple of psychics who channel my blog (cool concept, eh?), but overwhelmingly the assumption is you're checking me out on your computer. That means you have E-MAIL! Unless you happen to be a particular 2008 nominee for the US Presidency, I'm gonna assume you know how to use it, too. And I'm not just talking to you, my loyal Blogees. I want you to pass this on to your Blogettes, Significant-Blogothers, and any young Blogalinos in your household. Everybody can join. Here's the plan. Ready? Again, you're not going to believe how easy this is. Take a look at this little bugger:
http://heycaptainbob.blogspot.com/
There are a number of things people call this set of symbols and letters and slashes, known mostly under big-wordy technical terminology as a U.R.L., which stands for Uniform Resource Locator. Huh? Have you ever asked another human being "Yo Mildred - what exactly is your Uniform Resource Locator?" Like that's ever going to happen. I say when in doubt, simplify things. So my term for that grouping of letters and symbols is The Place To Find Cap'n Bob. Succinct, not stuffy, yet straight to the point thank you very much.
Ok, so the plan for each of you, my dear readers (I got that from Edgar Allen Poe, or maybe it was David Allen Coe...I get those two confused), is to copy and paste The Place To Find Cap'n Bob into an email to send out. If you're not so good at computers and don't know how to copy and paste something, relax! You can actually type it in, all by your own self. The / mark is right below the ? on the same key, to the right of >, under ; and ', just left of the right-hand Shift and above the flying Windows thing on your keyboard. Too confusing? THEN FIND A DANG 8-YEAR OLD TO TEACH YOU HOW TO CUT AND PASTE! Anyway, back to the Master Plan For Global Domination. So each of you must cut and paste the "Place" into an email, and then all you have to do is forward it to 220,000 of your closest friends. Can you believe how easy that was? Heck, a hunnert times 220,000 is.....eh.....a lot of people! But we're not done just yet. No, Sir. The most delicious part is that besides the "Place" thing, you're gonna ask them to forward the email to their friends, but they only need to send it to half as many people (that's 110,000 for you math-challenged). That half would send to another half, then another half, and so on until I've got people emailing me in Mandarin Chinese and Latvian. At that point, I will consider my legacy on The Planet complete. What - you got somethin' better? I didn't think so. As soon as you finish today's chapter, go ahead and get yerself to emailin' so the world can become my acorn. That's a phrase my Gramma used to use, and it didn't make a lick of sense back then either. This amazing plan is just another example of my keen vision, and being able to think outside the hull...
Carnival Cruise Line celebrated their return to Grand Turk Cruise Center on the island yesterday, when the Carnival Destiny arrived after a month of storm damage clean-up from Hurricane Ike. The beach was clean as a whistle, and lined with 1,500 lounge chairs. The shops were up-and-running and even air-conditioned, and Margaritaville was open for drinks, food, music and fun. The only thing missing was the Flow-Rider (fake surfing ride) which is still under repair, but GREAT JOB overall by Carnival in getting customers back to the island in just a month's time.
If you happen to be in New York City on Oct. 16th, and anywhere near the pier area, you may want to swing by to wave to the Queen Elizabeth II (also known as the QE2). Why do that, when she's been there 705 times before? Because the 706th will be the LAST time she ever graces the NY skyline as she heads to retirement. To make it more special, the Queen Mary II (QM2) will also be sailing into port later in the day, making it a memorable opportunity for visitors and photographers, as well as locals to say hello and goodbye in the same breath. In fact, you'll want a ring-side seat to be there at 5pm, when a flotilla of FDNY fire boats escorts the QE2 out towards the Statue of Liberty, passing the QM2. A future-poster moment for sure. For those residents or visitors wanting to experience this, here are the suggested viewing areas according to Cunard Cruise Line:
Battery Park (on the southern shoreline of Manhattan)
Robert F. Wagner Jr. Park (overlooking the Hudson River, great view of the Statue of Liberty) Wasn't he the guy who played "Number Two" in the Austin Powers movies, and if so how did he get his own park for goodness's sake?
The Esplanade (running the entire length of Battery Park City, along the Hudson from Stuyvesant High School on the north to Battery Park, and Hudson River Park (extends for five miles along the Manhattan shoreline from Battery Place to West 59th Street).
That's it for today -- WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Get to emailin', people! I've got to get back to practicing how to deal with all my new-found notoriety and such.
EPILOGUE: If any of you cannot think of 220,000 friends - and that's possible for the "loners" among you - just send to as many as you can think of who enjoy a chuckle or three every day. Do it. Now! I created this post nearly 2 hours ago, and I'm not famous yet. At least not so's I can tell a difference.
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