Green, or just a screen?

There are new photos out today of Celebrity's "Solstice", and an article on USAToday about how they have added solar panels: http://www.usatoday.com/travel/cruises/item.aspx?type=blog&ak=56330289.blog

My response, like Jim Mora when he coached the Colts a few years ago, saying in a high whiny voice "Playoffs? PLAYOFFS???!!", would be "Solar panels? SOLAR PANELS??!! " Now The Cap'n likes to keep the world as eco-friendly as the next sailor (although I had to read the label twice, before I ever committed to buying "recycled" toilet paper), but somehow this seems more show, and less about Mother Earth her own self.

Here's how it works on a cruise ship, Mateys......You've got propellers the size of UPS trucks welded to these big long 2 to 3-foot-thick steel rods (crankshafts), and a giant engine churns away -- just like in your car only tons bigger -- moving the ship through the water. Also tied to the crankshafts are lines to generators, where electricity is created and stored in huge batteries. It's similar to the principle of what happens at a hydro-electric dam, where the water comes through and spins the turbines to generate power. IF I'M GOING TOO FAST FOR YA, YOU MAY WANT TO REPEAT 3RD GRADE SCIENCE CLASS! Anyway, that's what powers the lights, phones, TV's, sound system, the ovens, air-conditioning, virtually everything on a ship. So now they're adding a bunch of solar panels on this new Celebrity Solstice. Maybe they'll be able to generate enough power for the Cruise Director's stereo, it's hard to tell. But they ain't necessary, and they ain't producing more than a grain of sand's worth of power if the truth be told.....but BOY HOWDY those yuppies and greenies are gonna love the illusion! If you really wanted something efficient on a ship, there are plenty of places to set up wind-generated power. Every time that ship is moving forward at 20 knots, there is automatically a 20 knot wind generated, and if you add on Nature's wind as well, you could truly generate some power that way. Solar panels? SOLAR PANELS?????!!

Some more cruise news, Carnival is going to do a handful of Canada cruises in 2009, going all the way up to Quebec. Now's the time to use those French lessons you took a few years back, Eh? Because there are only a couple of sailings, they will sell out almost immediately. Here are the details: http://blogs.usatoday.com/cruiselog/2008/09/carnival-plans.html. Call or email us now to reserve your space! "He who hesitates sits home watching Oprah".

Well, folks today it became official. The highly-respected (tee-hee) International Gymnastics Federation has issued its final ruling on the Chinese female gymnasts from this past Summer's Olympic Games. Notice I didn't say Chinese women. In any event, the IGF, which also stands for Incredibly Grandiose Falsehood, concluded that all the Chinese gymnasts were at least 16 at the time of the Olympics. Even those that were 12. They were 16. Get it? Me neither. One expert said the IGF had done exhaustive research, upwards of 20 minutes on this, including going so far as to ask the Chinese Government "really?" So it must be true. I know over the last few weeks I've had a hard time sleeping, worrying that this situation would never come clear, so a hearty THANK YOU to the IGF. Where would the world be without ye?