"Don't Mess With The LOHAN!"

Sounds like an Adam Sandler movie, but a funny thing happened to actress Lindsay Lohan yesterday. Police said a burglar alarm company called them about 3pm, to report a 10-31 / robbery in progress, when someone tripped the alarm in Ms. Lohan's home in Hollywood, California. Officers quickly arrived at the home, guns drawn, thinking they might be walking into a "perp" in action. However, they soon realized no one was present, including Ms. Lohan, though there were sure signs of a break-in, a tripped alarm, and the home had been "tossed" and ransacked. Not much of a story so far, right? Surprisingly, the inside of the home was not ransacked at all. The burglars never made their way inside, and after further investigation, it was determined that Young Miss Lohan just likes living in a whirlwind of clothing, disarray and junk. One disadvantage of growing up famous is you never learn what things are for. Like drawers, hangars, shelves, dignity....

Looks like the annual "gas price migration" has begun again. Heading North for the Summer. Every year. A few weeks before Memorial Day, when it's obvious people are going to hit the roads for Summer vacation soon, the lovely people at the gas companies take out their gouging tools, sharpen them up real good, and ram them up our tailpipes year after year. It's amazing that nobody has every brought charges of collusion and price fixing, but in America, we tend to say "Oh well" more than we should. In many cases, when gas prices start spiraling upward, it's cheaper to fly somewhere instead of spending hour after hour in the car with the family. Particularly this year - with the economy down, many hotels are offering deal pricing, and when packaged with a flight you can enjoy a wider variety of vacation options, than loading your brood in the car and driving for hours on end. "Are we there yet?" 200 times or more gets tiresome! Call or email me to discuss what might be best for your Summer getaway. Opinions I've got!

Bullwinkle taking Flying Squirrel lessons from Rocky?

Police said a 500-pound moose fell 18 feet to its death, when it apparently leaped a guardrail on Interstate 95 in Maine and landed on Hinckley Road. Officials learned of the incident when a motorist placed a 911 call shortly after 8 a.m. Tuesday, and told respondent Shirley Bailey that "a moose just fell out of the sky." Bailey said the driver, who was under the bridge when he spotted the falling moose, was "pretty excited." After investigating, Police Chief Charles Runnels said the yearling bull probably panicked because of the noise and traffic along I-95, and began running. He said it just picked the wrong spot to jump the guardrail. At least, that's the cover story. I watched The X-Files. I know things. Maybe our friend Bullwinkle was dropped out of the Mother Ship, after hours of probing and genetic mapping and antler scans. Somebody go get Mulder. He'll know what to do.

Do you love technology like I do? It's always a hoot watching a high school or even college-age person trying to make change out of a cash register, when the power is out. They're so used to having the machine tell them how much to give back, it's priceless to see the blank slate when no teleprompter is available. Or when your bill is $19.76, and you hand the clerk a $20 bill plus a penny. The lights are on, but nobody's home. Your brain is screaming GIMME MY QUARTER, but the pillar of American Youth is caught in life's headlights. The good news is, it's not just us! According to the London Telegraph, a shopper was left speechless recently, when she was asked to show ID as proof of age, to buy a set of teaspoons in West Yorkshire, England. The woman gently coaxed the cashier as to WHY she needed to see ID, and the young'un proclaimed, "I dunno, maybe somebody was murdered with a teaspoon or something, but I'm getting a prompt to see your ID, that's why." There were a few uncomfortable words exchanged at the register, before the Store Manager stepped in. He indicated he was unaware of any age restrictions (or criminal background checks) for the purchase of teaspoons, and said it appeared to be some kind of scanner-bar-code mix-up.

Oh, those sensible Brits!