Green on Blue (Trees in the ocean?)

"Now entering the starting gate, ladies and gentlemen, is the much-ballyhooed thoroughbred, Oasis of the Seas. Sired by Monarch from the dame Majesty, this super-charger is currently UNDEFEATED, though if we're being honest she hasn't even raced yet. Not even a claimer. She stands taller than the competition, coming in at over 2,700 hands in height (Secretariat was just over 16 hands), and she carries more than 8,500 jockeys and stable personnel. She prefers a very wet track, and is fully expected to be a high-stakes winner, right from the get-go."

Well, we hope so, though I might not bet the farm just yet. This ship has been commanding a premium of more than double what the other Royal Caribbean ships charge, simply by being bigger and more different and just plain MORE. Even in the current economy, people are opening their wallets nice and wide to get on the newest industry behemoth. And she is definitely that. The ship is enormous, with a crew and staff that is larger than what most ships carry as a complement of passengers! Live trees growing onboard. I guess it wouldn't make sense to have dead trees, but STILL - it's something new, something different, something people have been willing to pay a premium rate on. So far. But a report in today's USAToday online indicates that could be coming to a halt sooner, rather than later. Already pricing is starting to come down from its initial dizzying heights, as Royal Caribbean tries to fill such a massive amount of berths week-in, week-out. And there's another wooly mammoth just like her being built as we speak. The fear is saturation, which in my mind has a greater chance of victory in this race than "If you build it, they will come." I'm a bit of a skeptic at the moment, since I'm a traditionalist who thinks there really IS such a thing as too big. But I'd be grateful if they can prove me wrong, by keeping demand and prices high. We'll see.

Bartender: Get me a military aircraft, a down parka, snowmobile, blasting caps, thermal boots and something refreshing to drink, please!

After more than 100 years, a team of liquor connoisseurs is set to drill through Antarctica's ice sheets, in search of a lost cache of vintage Scotch whiskey. You may know the story of explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton, whose ship and team made a journey to the South Pole more than a century ago. Devastatingly-cold weather conditions forced the crew to abandon ship and most of their belongings, before being rescued. One prize left behind was the now-extremely-aged Scotch. The site was re-discovered in 2006, but the ice pack was too dense for retrieval. Now, the beverage company Whyte & Mackay has hired a team fetch the two crates of Rare Old brand of McKinlay and Company whiskey. They are hoping to replicate the taste, though because of an odd conservation agreement made by the Antarctic Treaty nations, they will only be allowed to bring out a couple of bottles. Maybe the plan is to create a duplicate copy of the beverage, with explicit instructions on the label:

Step 1) Purchase
Step 2) Store in a cold dark place, preferably at a Polar Ice Cap or imbedded in a solution of liquid nitrogen for at least 10 decades
Step 3) Open
Step 4) Drink
Step 5) Wipe mouth, smile big, say "Aaaaaaahhhhhh."


Speaking of bizarre treatment of alcohol, A Ugandan official has called for the bodies of dead people who died as a result of drinking an illicit local gin, to be caned (beaten) six times before burial. He said the caning will act "as an example to the living people of what can happen." Huh? The gin, called waragi, is distilled with a poisonous methanol, and Police say it has caused more than 50 deaths in the last two months. I wonder what IQ Test is required to become a Ugandan official? You have to be pretty smart, apparently, to realize that caning a dead body only 5 times won't act as enough of a deterrent, but caning it 7 times would appear to be overkill and socially, in bad taste.

6 times is genius...