What? (removes his shoe)

There's an old Monty Python bit, where John Cleese answers a phone and all you hear is his end of the conversation. It's obvious the person on the other end of the phone is asking him questions, as his response goes something like this:

"Yes? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. What? (removes his shoe): 7 1/2. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Alright then."

For those of you who might be lacking a funny-bone, the COMEDY comes from the fact that no one calling would care what your shoe size is, whether seven-and-a-half or anything else. And the fact that he doesn't question the question, only gives the honest mundane answer. Welcome to my world! The TSA & Homeland Security are just about to step-up their passenger background checks, for anyone getting on an airplane in the US. People are used to calling their travel agents, booking a flight, and off they go. Now we're going to have to start asking for First name, middle name, last name, birthdate, gender of the traveler, and if they have a DHS-issued re-dress number (guess I'm going to have to find out what that is!). I can hardly wait. In this ultra-fast-paced world, where people get annoyed easily at even the slightest thing that might slow down their activities schedule, we're going to have to have this conversation over and over with people, until they get used to the idea that it's REQUIRED if you want to fly. Why? Put yourself in Homeland Security's place. Bill Johnson is wanting a plane ticket. Do you think when they try to do a background check, there will be more than 1 Bill Johnson? And what if he goes by Bill, but his real name is Clarence Willie Johnson? Not William or Bill as you might assume. But let's say his name was William Johnson. There's still gotta be many tens of thousands of them. But if you check William Wayne Johnson, who was born on Aug. 8, 1947 it dramatically narrows the field. That's the whole point of this exercise, to make it so we're all safer in the skies and on the ground. The background checks will be looking not only for people on terror watchlists, but deadbeat parents, people wanted by The Law, and so on. At least to this point they haven't asked for shoe size, so John Cleese is safe within his classic comedy bit from becoming commonplace. I figured I'd just mention it here, so my millions and billions of international followers and devotees would be up to date. I'm pretty sure I'm that popular, but it could be less.

CNN online has an interesting story today about Travel & Leisure Magazine's idea of the World's Ugliest Buildings. I've got to admit some of them are pretty cool looking (from a drunken sailor kind of standpoint), but yes there are some stinkers in there as well. Here's a link, and you can decide for yourself:

http://www.travelandleisure.com/articles/the-worlds-ugliest-buildings/1/


Procter & Gamble announced that it will once again create and host a public restroom for the holidays in New York City's Times Square, as a promotion for Charmin tissue. Last year's installation was specially outfitted toilet facilities, but this year P&G is going to upgrade the promotion. They're hiring five bloggers called Charmin Ambassadors, to "interact" with the expected "hundreds of thousands of bathroom guests" and write about their experiences with Charmin tissue on the company's Web site. They even want people to include "family-friendly" photographs. P&G is calling the campaign "Enjoy the Go." I've renamed it "New York City - It's Craptastic." So there, P&G - let's see which name consumers pick up on.

With lawsuits piling up against Bank of America, a man named Dalton Chiscolm found a new angle to try to strike gold. In September, he sued the bank in New York City Federal Court for inadequate customer service concerning his checks' routing numbers, and asked for damages of "1,784 billion, trillion dollars" plus an additional "$200,164,000 in compensatory damages." Judge Denny Chin appeared confused about the lawsuit, but gave Chiscolm 30 days to better explain his complaint. When the Plaintiff failed to do so, Judge Chin dismissed the suit. Coincidentally, the BBC News looked into the lawsuit, and reported that the first amount listed which is 1,784 followed by 21 zeros, is more money than exists on the entire planet. And I thought that was reserved for the World Series Of Poker winner...