Geography 101

"Riddle me this, Batman....With the Atlantic Ocean standing in your way, how would you move Holland to Bermuda?"

The answer: propellers

After an extended absence, Holland America announced last September they will make a return to the lovely island of Bermuda in 2010. So why I am I reporting this "news" today? Because the response has been so overwhelming among their past passengers, they have just added 4 more months of service! The original plan was to have the Veendam sail from New York for a handful of cruises, starting in August of 2010. The ship will stop in both Hamilton and St. George's, scheduled for approximately 2 1/2 days in each, which is fantastic. Demand was so great, they have decided to open up a full season of Bermuda sailings, starting as early as April 2010. That means a full season of 24 departures. Why is this so important to report? Think about it. Right now, they have a ship that is scheduled to be 100% empty for April, May, June and July! You can get the maximum early-booking discounted rates right now, and even more importantly you can pick and choose the finest cabin locations, in whatever category you wish. Anyone who has ever sailed across the Atlantic knows Bermuda sailings can be a bit challenging with more waves and swells than a typical Caribbean cruise. So it's important to get that perfect cabin spot, where you know you'll have the smoothest ride possible, and the optimum vacation experience. In the entire Western Hemisphere, Bermuda is my favorite island, so I'd urge anyone interested to call us right away at (800) 835-9828, for assistance and discount pricing. This space is going to sell out quickly, so give yourself a Christmas present today!

Oh yeah. You're probably wondering about my sinus infection (sure you are!). I'm obviously not dead just yet, so that's progress. I had a nice doctor do a "procedure" yesterday, which I considered more of an "excavation" inside about half my face. Lo and behold, I'm pretty as a picture today and I have the nice doctor and a container of happy pills to thank. So quit worrying yourself about The Cap'n. It takes more than a backhoe inside my head to cause any real damage.

Doesn't money talk make you dizzy? It sure does me. This morning, a bailout of the auto industry was announced, with CNN reporting 13.4 billion, and USAToday saying 17 billion. Does anybody see a slight difference there? Like a tiny little 3.6 billion? Think about a billion. It's a THOUSAND MILLION. Seems like every night on the news we're hearing numbers that sound like an imaginative child playing Monopoly. "I'll pay a Gazillion dollars to put hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place, and as soon as you land on them, you'll owe me about a Kadillion Triplebazillion dollars!" It's come to the point where I don't think even the news services and anchormen can wrap their heads around it, really. I'm still working on my multiplication tables and trying to figure out how the smart kids are able to use a stinkin' slide rule. I use mine whenever something falls behind the dresser that I can't quite reach...

Some men like Ralph Lauren Silver. Others have a preference for Davidoff Cool Water. Whatever scent you think attracts someone to you, there is definitely a new player in the men's fragrance market. He claims to be The King. The Associated Press reports there is a new scent available on the market, a men's body spray called "Flame." What's so special about that? The product comes from Burger King, which it describes as:
"the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." The fast food chain is marketing the product through an inter-active website, featuring romantic backdrops. If by chance you're pro-active enough to play around for a while, you may figure out how to see The King, in an awkwardly amorous setting by a fireplace. I realize it's a bit hard to fathom, but you can check it out at: http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/.

What ever happened to the days of "ours tastes better?" Amazing. Then again, it gets people talking so the old saying all advertising is good advertising must still apply.