How about a little closer to home? Like that big 'ol banana hanging off the East Coast of the USA, known as Florida. Most everyone thinks of Florida in this order:
1) Orlando (see above, about them kids and all)
2) Miami/South Beach (action, but not Florida's best beaches)
3) Key West (another great area, but not today's subject)
If you do the math, you'll see that's only 3 cities, which wouldn't even fill up a corner of Rhode Island....there's plenty of Florida left to talk about! Because people going South from North typically enter Florida on I-75 cutting through mid-state, or I-95 that runs all the way down the Eastern side of Florida's most populous coast, it's only the adventurous that cross Interstate 4 or Alligator Alley to see what the West Coast has to offer. When it comes to beaches in the Sunshine State, West Coast means BEST Coast for beaches. For some reason, the Eastern (Atlantic) side of the state has nice kind-of-white-kind-of-brownish sand, but the Gulf of Mexico side, which feeds from the Caribbean Sea, has significantly brighter, whiter sand and prettier water. You may not find as many luxury or world-class resorts on that side of the state simply because it IS less-populous, an insider's secret because of the geography of getting there. Like I said, everybody stays on I-75, I-95 and the Florida Turnpike, which won't get you to the Promised Land! I say don't bother getting in your car at all. You don't really want all that salt and sand messing up your car, so here's my idea for you...
We can fly you down, and arrange for a rental car to be waiting for you. We'll book you into whatever level of hotel or resort you want, and it'll all be prepaid. You'll just have the common-sense things left like meals and gasoline, but otherwise we'll do the thinkin' and you can do the drinkin'. Sound like a plan? Here are some names you may have heard, but don't really know much about: Naples & Ft. Myers. Sarasota & Longboat Key. Tampa & St. Petersburg. Pensacola & Destin. There are resort areas like Marco Island. Your choices are boundless, and if all you've ever done in the past is Central and Eastern Florida, you've missed a lot. Particularly when it comes to relaxation and gorgeous beach and water. Oh yeah. Your vacation is a whole lot simpler, too. No passports. No Customs and Immigration. Half the crowds of the East Coast beaches. Less traffic. Lower prices than in the more well-known areas. Have I got your attention yet? It's true that families with small kids may find a bit less to do on the Western side than in Orlando or Miami, but right from the start of the blog today, you can pretty much tell that's not who I'm addressing. Let us put together a stress-free package to the Best Coast for you, and I'd be willing to bet you'll go back for seconds. When I personally vacation in Florida, I never consider anything other than which Western beach I'm doing next.
A Pennsylvania chemical engineer is working on a line of fragrances aimed at those who are nostalgic for their university years. Katie Masik's Harrisburg-based company, Masik Collegiate Fragrances,has already created scents for the University of North Carolina and Penn State, and she's working on the University of Georgia, LSU and other schools. Look for them to be on the market next year, according to a Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel report Thursday. Masik said she visits the schools and speaks with students and alumni, before settling on the scent that best defines the school.“I get a lot of requests for beer smell and sweaty football players,” Masik said. From my own college days (daze), my thoughts drift back to smells like 2-day-old pizza that has a couple bites out of it, some Jovan Musk Oil, and that skinny guy with the black glasses that ran the audio-visual equipment during class, when the air conditioning was out. Pheww! Maybe Ms. Masik should work on a scent that plays the Allman Brothers' "In Memory Of Elizabeth Reed" when you unscrew the top. I'd buy me some of that!
My thanks to Bizarre News for a few little gems. These are some funny snippets from actual ads, taken from various newspapers, just in time for the Holidays:
Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
The New And Improved SUPERSTORE! Unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
Christmas sale - handmade gifts, for that hard-to-find person.
Get rid of unwanted aunts. Zap Traps will do the job in 24 hours or less!
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross included.
And a Happy Holiday to you as well!The Cap'n
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