Party On, Garth!

If you have a party or adventurous spirit, here's a good way to spend $13 bucks: Michael Guerriero has just released a book, called Party Across America! 101 of the Greatest Festivals, Sporting Events, and Celebrations in the U.S. It's a compilation of famous, and not-so-famous events, parties, festivals and such that will really get your juices flowing. If you're a foodie, you'll want to head to the Windy City at the end of June/early July for "Taste Of Chicago." I can personally vouch for this one, as my First Mate and I experienced this 2 years ago. Amazing array of deep-dish pizzas, gyros, Chicago-style hotdogs, burgers, beer, and way more options than you can list in 1 blog. Make that a lunch stop, then head over to Buddy Guy's Legends at night for some raw Chicago blues, and you've got yourself a world-class day.

The winner of wildest party, believe it or not, is St. Patrick's day in Butte, Montana - particularly the the week or so leading up to the holiday. Why Butte? In the 1870's, it was a huge copper-mining boomtown, and descendants of the Irish miners are still there today. If you're not going to Ireland, this may be the next-best thing. The party is virtually everywhere, spilling into the streets all week. How about best weird celebration? When I think of Buffalo, New York I think of Niagara Falls, or Frank & Teresa's Anchor Bar, original home of Buffalo hot wings (truthfully!). Now there is a new reason to visit, the Saturday following Thanksgiving. It's called "The World's Largest Disco", and they generally sell over 8,000 tickets in less than 72 hours. Gyrate, dance, strut, break out your 35-year old Nik-Nik shirt (if it still fits), and dance and spin your way into a Disco inferno!

Speaking of musical festivals, I was unfamiliar with this one, but there is something called "Coachella" (sounds more like a sports festival), which takes place April 17-19 in Indio, California. According to Michael Guerriero, this festival is full of music, art outlets, laser light shows, the works. I figured it must be something with regional bands, but I went to their website and the lineup is a whopper, including a variety of styles. How about seeing all these artists at one venue?:

Prince
Dwight Yoakam
Death Cab For Cutie
Roger Waters
Jack Johnson
Love And Rockets
Kraftwerk
Fatboy Slim
The Breeders

Oh yeah....add on another 100 bands, and that's "Coachella". The book includes other more well-known events as well, such as Mardi Gras and Tampa's Gasparilla Pirate Festival, but for the ambitious-at-heart, this book has some great ideas to map out your parties for 2009.

The Alabama Department of Industrial Relations administers unemployment benefits, and sets up toll-free numbers for jobless Alabama residents to apply for benefits. Call centers in Montgomery and Birmingham are supposed to get the calls. Well, on Dec. 26th Linda Jahraus started getting calls at 5am. So did Cybil and Harvey Bernash. To the tune of more than 50 calls per day. What makes this so unusual you ask? Ms. Jahraus and the Bernashes live in Irvine, California! Not only that, but Ms. Jahraus and Mr. & Mrs. Bernash know each other, and are friends. After Cybil received a few of the calls, she asked the callers what number they had dialed, so she decided to call that number and complain to the Alabama Unemployment Office, in hopes of fixing the problem. Whe she called the number, Linda Jahrous answered. "I thought she was kidding," said Mrs. Bernash, "then we both realized we were stuck in telephone hell." Both parties attempted to contact Alabama officials, with little or no success. Jahraus then decided to contacted an Alabama newspaper, the Montgomery Advertiser, which reported the story Friday. Alabama Industrial Relations Director Tom Surtees said state officials are working hard to resolve the problem. "I can't explain somebody sitting in north Alabama making a call, and it ending up in somebody's private residence in California," he said. A spokeswoman for AT&T Alabama, which has the department's account, called the problem unusual (my 1st 2009 vote for understatement-of-the-year).

Here's a New Year's story from Rochester, Michigan. CONGRATULATIONS to Tarrance Griffin Senior and his lovely wife, who gave birth to twins 1 year apart! Huh? Yes indeedy, Tarrance Griffin Jr. was born New Year's Eve at 11:51pm, making his birthdate 12/31/08. His younger brother Tariq Griffin was born 26 minutes later at 12:17am New Year's Day, making his birthdate 1/1/09. So officially, 1 boy is a year older than the other on a technicality. Both boys and parent are doing well, except for the confusing explanations they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives.

In a not-quite-as-heavenly Holiday story, authorities in Northeast Tennessee have arrested a man because of his Christmas decorations. The Johnson City Press reports that Unicoi County Sheriff Kent Harris acted on a search warrant, which was issued after anonymous tips came in about unusual decorations in the man's yard. There were several ceramic angels, a set of praying hands, numerous flower arrangements, several small Christmas trees and ornaments. Although fairly religious, it didn't sound that unusual at first. However, many of the items matched the exact description of a recent theft from nearby Evergreen Cemetery. When confronted with the evidence, including an eyewitness who placed the man at the Cemetery and saw him loading the items into his car, he said "No, that wasn't me. I don't know how these things got in my yard - I'm guessing the wind blew them here." Sounds like the wind isn't the only blowhard in this part of Tennessee...

New Year's Resolution #1: Lose Weight. That one applies to about 90% of Americans, and we're not just talking humans here. See if this story, and the weight-loss process, sounds as familiar as Dr. Phil:

If cable network Animal Planet ran a "Biggest Loser" competition, there are 7 elephants at the San Diego Zoo who might take the cake. Oops...I mean low-calorie bean curd. These pachyderms have lost a combined total of 11,314 pounds since zookeepers enforced a nutrition and exercise regiment for them, which started in 2000. Captive elephants that zoo visitors are familiar with are mostly overweight, compared to those in the wild. To get the elephants back in shape, zookeepers introduced a diet high in hay and stopped feeding them treats such as bread, corn and jelly beans. Instead of three large meals per day, the big-top-big-boys received several small meals. Zookeepers also scatter the food around the yard so the elephants have to work harder to find it. Zookeepers also trained the elephants to walk laps around their enclosure. Workers rake the packed soil to simulate jogging on soft sand, to encourage them even further. Hmmmm. That does it. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to exercise more, cut back on my jelly beans, and eat some hay. Well, maybe Shredded Wheat. There are limits to sanity after all.