French Fried?

Very quietly, people on numerous cruise ships since mid-January have had their itineraries changed at the last minute, substituting islands in the Southern Caribbean. The islands being by-passed are Guadeloupe and Martinique specifically, with more than a half-dozen cruise ships affected. Why isn't this news? Well, IT IS and The Cap'n is your Ace Cub Reporter, telling you about it right now if you'd quit asking questions and keep reading! I guess there have been bigger stories on the nightly news that have people's attention, like the US Economy and what Prez O and his family are doing. But back to my little tale.... If they have nothing else in common, Guadeloupe and Martinique are both French, and French politics have always been a bit on the drama-queen side of the ledger. These islands are no exception. The political strife that has plagued them for some time has now erupted into scattered incidents of violence. NOTE: It should suffice to say you won't find "scattered incidents of violence" in any cruise line brochure, even as adventurous as some shore excursions have become. No, since most ships belong to publicly-traded companies, their first loyalty is to (the owners? the passengers?) the LAWYERS who don't want any part of negative incidents or the ensuing lawsuits! The good news is no one is being re-routed way out of their normal path. When you get to the lower Antilles islands, they're all over the place, and good cruise ports are numerous. Some lines are choosing Antigua, others St. Kitts or St. Maarten. So for any of you that may have upcoming cruises planned, this is just a heads-up that keeping an open mind and flexibility in your ports of call (particularly as it relates to the safety of you and your family), is a good thing. Don't be the guy in the plaid shorts screaming at the Chief Purser "The only reason we BOOKED this cruise was for Guadaloupe!"
Dude - I've been to Guadeloupe. Dozens of times when I worked on board cruise ships. On almost every other island, I'd head to the beach or shopping or sightseeing or whatever. But when the ship docked in San Juan every Saturday, I made sure to rent 3-4 videos so that on Guadeloupe day, I could simply stay in my cabin and watch movies. True story.

Californians are waking up to a new era of cruising, the Mega-ship. This week, Royal Caribbean's Mariner Of The Seas arrived on the West Coast, set to do 7-night Mexican Riviera cruises for the foreseeable future. At 138,000 tons, she's more than 50% larger than any of the other regularly-scheduled cruise ships based in Cal-E-Forn-E-a (that's how Ah-nold The Governator prounounces it). Mariner will be a welcome sight in Mexico for sure, bringing over 3000 passengers per week to Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan, and my favorite place in Mexico, Puerto Vallarta. It'll certainly make for a crowded day in Cabo, but to get a little you have to give a little. For the people living in So-Cal, the tradeoff should prove worthwhile. Later this Fall, Royal Caribbean plans to move another of its ships, the 90,000 ton Radiance Of The Seas to the Left Coast as well. She will be running 4 and 5 night cruises, and once again will be the largest ship ever to do the short-cruise market from Southern California.

This was not a good week for chimps. It was even worse for the friends of chimp owners. Fortunately, it looks like the victim of the chimpanzee attack will survive, but the more you see this story, the stranger it gets. There was actually something said in an interview with the chimp's owner, Mrs. Chimp, that not a single reporter picked up on. NOBODY! It threw me out of my chair, and I've been surfing stations looking for Entertainment Tonight, Nancy Grace, Amazing Grace, Anderson Cooper, James Fenimore Cooper or anyone to acknowledge her statement. I don't have the exact wording, so I'll have to go from what little memory I have left, but she was asked if the chimp was considered a pet or family. Her response was something like "I've raised him as a son. He can shower himself, he eats at the table including lobster tails and steak, he can drive, he can dress himself, he's like a person to me and he's been my family for 15 years." HE CAN DRIVE???? How is it possible that no news media picked up on that! So this attack wasn't the first time she has jeopardized the lives of innocent people. I tell you, there is no limit to the amount of mental illness the American public will tolerate. It's amazing.

A nickel for your thoughts! Seems an 18-yr. old man from Camden Arkansas thought the only good thing to do with nickels is roll them up in those little blue cardboard wrappers that make a $2.00 roll. The gent in question entered the Bancorp South branch Wednesday, and had a large bag of $88 worth of nickels, which he wanted to roll and exchange for paper money. As he was dumping the nickels out, something else fell out of the bag. A gun. After spotting the weapon, a teller told a supervisor who immediately called police. Shortly thereafter police arrived, and after a small scuffle they questioned the man, and felt they had cause to obtain a search warrant for his home. When they arrived and searched his house, they found $16,000 worth of allegedly stolen property, including eight firearms. Camden police Capt. Scott Rosson said many of the nickels were from a stolen coin collection, with a dramatically higher value than their .05cent face worth. The man was charged with resisting arrest and possession of a firearm. Capt. Rosson indicated the man had no intention of robbing the bank, even though ammunition for the gun was also in the bag. Apparently he was just going to cash in the coins, then sell the gun at a pawn shop. I guess when you're 18 and you have to make more than one stop while running errands, you still look at the convenience of which one is closest and go there first. Even if it means 12-20 in the State Pen.

86-year-old Arlene Hald thinks she and her family appear to be victims of identity theft. Mrs. Hald recently received a credit card bill addressed to her husband, Sylvester, who had died some 20 years earlier. The bill was for over $1000, from a phone sex supplier. Mrs. Hald's daughter contacted the billing company, Preferred Platinum Plan, who agreed to cancel charges. The Halds thought that was the end of it, until another bill arrived for over $700. The California-based phone sex company agreed to remove the latest charge as well. You hear about this kind of thing, and wonder what they could possibly offer to compensate someone like Arlene Hald. I mean, "30 free minutes" isn't something an 86-yr-old woman is likely to sink her teeth into. Or dentures, as the case may be. And I doubt that a "guest-operator" appearance would benefit either party...