Livin' On Tulsa Time

Tulsa Oklahoma is a nice enough town, but never really considered a hotbed of new technology. That is, until today. For the first time ever, some airline passengers will skip metal detectors to pass through body scanning machines, which are capable of looking through clothing for hidden weapons. The experimental program begins today at Tulsa International Airport, and will test whether the $170,000 body scanners could replace $10,000 metal detectors that have screened airline passengers since 1973. Airports in San Francisco, Las Vegas, Miami, Albuquerque and Salt Lake City will join the test in the next two months, TSA spokesman Christopher White said.
The scanners aim to close a loophole by finding non-metallic weapons such as plastic and liquid explosives, which the TSA considers a major threat. Of course, the American Civil Liberties Union has a different take: "We're getting closer and closer to a required strip-search to board an airplane," said Barry Steinhardt. Barry, stay home. Don't fly any more, and keep your entire clan of dimwits there in the garage with you. This is ground-breaking technology meant to save lives, in an unprecedented time in our history where the bad guys get smarter all the time. Many of us will gladly skate around a few liberties, to hold terrorists at bay. You go on about your business of finding other ways to miserable-ize our lives, Barry. Just because you're trying to protect prudes from their own consciences, don't feel the need to put that on the rest of us.

A Salt Lake City woman who was in the Guinness Book of World Records for her long fingernails had them broken off in a car accident. Lee Redmond sustained serious but non-life threatening injuries in the accident Tuesday. Redmond was the current Guinness record holder, with nails that hadn't been cut since 1979. Her nails measured a total of more than 28 feet long in 2008, with the longest nail on her right thumb at 2 feet, 11 inches, according to Guinness. Salt Lake County Sheriff's Lt. Don Hutson said she was ejected from an SUV in the crash, and taken to the hospital with injuries and broken nails. Listen to your Mama - even world record holders should wear seat belts!

Now what was the order I was supposed to do things in again? Authorities in Sarasota Florida arrested a man who apparently forgot to fill up before robbing (by coincidence) a gas station. The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office said a 23-year-old man used a Bowie knife to rob a Cape Haze gas station early Sunday. The man pulled the 12-inch blade and demanded money, but when he left, a customer followed him and called 911. While deputies were looking for signs of the bad guy in the area, a newspaper carrier told them about a man in a car matching the one from the robbery, which had run out of gas nearby. The man was arrested and charged with armed robbery, loitering and prowling. Oh yeah, and failure to check his gas gauge. He was released Monday on $10,500 bail.

Hold it! On second thought, don't take that literally. Snellville Georgia politics may have reached an all-time low. Jerry Oberholtzer, the Mayor of the Atlanta suburb, has been asking for police escorts to the restroom in City Hall since a verbal altercation took place with city council member Robert Jenkins 3 months ago. Oberholtzer says he no longer feels comfortable around Jenkins. Councilman Jenkins says the mayor has no reason to fear for his physical safety, only "fear me as a political opponent." The Mayor has even had police Chief Roy Whitehead escort him to the restroom a time or two. I guess people get paid for different things in different jurisdictions, but if I were a cop I'd have a clear message for Mr. Mayor: "Yes Sir, I'll be right OUTSIDE if you need me there, Your Highness...."