Little Deuce Coup?

Central America has a long history of political comings-and-goings, and not everything goes by the book. This week was witness to another such incident, when military leaders in Honduras decided they had seen enough of President Manuel Zelaya, unceremoniously whisking him away to Costa Rica, with a hearty "Don't let the banana leaves hit you on the backside on your way out." According to our own Chief Executive, Prez-O, Mr. Zelaya is "still the President of Honduras" in the eyes of the United States. Then again, we're here and they're there and never the twain shall meet. So nobody currently knows what the ramifications will be. One set of Americans is squarely in the cross-hairs, though: passengers on board certain cruise ships. Numerous ships make a call at Roatan, which is in the Bay Islands off the Caribbean coast of Honduras, but technically it's still Honduran territory. Even though it's only accessible by ferry, there's nothing to say troops will or won't come across the waters to Roatan, and that's making cruise lines a bit nervous. At least for now, Carnival has asserted it will continue its calls there, uninterrupted. That's good news for passengers who had recently read about or experienced port disruption in Mexico, due to piggie-flu. Roatan is a divers' paradise, home to the largest barrier reef in the Caribbean, which makes it a great stop for water-and-beach-hungry tourists. Not so much for khaki-clad, weapons-toting military units looking to capture a handful of tiki huts. After all, it's not a war as such, it's a political coup trying to establish a new Honcho or Honchette or group of Honchorinos at the top. In my opinion, the only way the military gets involved in Roatan is if the US speaks too loudly, and the military gets a wild hair and decides to make things uncomfortable for everyone concerned. Let's just hope it remains a snorkel and dive haven, with no political backdraft.

Speaking of new Monarchs, the newest namesake from Cunard, Queen Elizabeth, will be doing a 103-day cruise around the World in 2011. Ports for the circumnavigation, announced earlier this week, include LA, Sydney, Singapore, Hong Kong, Dubai, and some other countries along the route include Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia, India, Egypt, Greece and Italy, to name a few. Fares start at the bargain-basement price of around $20,000 per person for the most modest cabins, working upwards from there. Don't be fooled into thinking they'll have to give this away, even in a weak economy. Cunard has some of the most loyal followers, and World cruises tend to sell out many months (or more) in advance. This ship will be more like the Queen Mary than the older QE2, so demand will be high right from the get-go. Mann Travels will have special amenities on the sailing through the American Express network, as well as early-booking discounts and savings. So feel free to contact me about this rare travel opportunity.

G'Morning Mr. Hatfield. You too, Mr. McCoy.

Sometimes there is no explaining bad blood between families. Or neighbors. Family Feuds still exist, and I don't mean the TV game show. In fact, one happened recently in our North Carolina back yard. According to Time Warner Newschannel 14 in Charlotte, two families from nearby King's Creek (outside Lenoir, NC) just did a "full circle" family feud:

Family A's dog killed Family B's cat.
Family B's patriarch, the cat's owner, killed Family A's dog.
Family A's patriarch, the dog's owner, shot and wounded Family B's patriarch and his daughter.
Police were called on Family A's patriarch.
Family A's patriarch shot the 2 responding Deputies
One Deputy returned fire, killing Family A's patriarch.
Circle complete. Sort of.
"Can't we all just get along????"

Many of my loyal readers write me with questions, most often things like "Who told you you could write?" or "What kind of nonsense is this" or "What's that in the road - a head?" or "What have you got on - your mind?" Well, if you think I suck at readin', writin', 'rithmetic' and bloggin', I have only one thing to say to you: CONTACT SAN JOSE STATE UNIVERSITY, and give them a big piece of my blog to sniff and whiff. San Jose State U. runs the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, looking for the worst writer in all the Land. Past champions include....uh...well, nobody you ever heard of unless you follow Bulwer-Lytton annual events. The man the contest was named after, Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, produced some awful prose back in 1830, when his novel Paul Clifford started with those infamous words, "It was a dark and stormy night..." This year's winner is 55-year-old David McKenzie from Washington, and I have to tell you there's a soft spot in The Cap'n's jib for this man. He dedicated his story to an old seafarer, kind of like me. Here's a quick excerpt:

"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."

Dang...this guy's good. I know what you're asking yourselves. This guy's so talented, I wonder if there are other geniuses like him? Glad you asked! Mr. McKenzie won the Grand Prize, but there were other category winners, including the Detective category won by Eric Rice of Sun Prairie, Wisconsin. Here's a sample of Eric's work, and boy let me tell you, his descriptive prowess puts you RIGHT THERE in the action!

"She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't..."

For the first time in my life, I'm speechless before such royalty.