Carrie A Big (Hockey) Stick

Congratulations to American Idol and country music sensation Carrie Underwood, who announced her engagement to Mike Fisher, a hockey player for the Ottawa (Canada) Senators. For years, I've been a sportscard collector, and when I saw this in the news I figured now is the time to break out any Mike Fisher rookie cards I have tucked in the closet, as the interest in him would probably be at an all-time high. Maybe I can make some extra Christmas money, also known as "Holiday money" or "Season money" to the politically-correct among you. Well, so far the interest in Mike Fisher appears to be limited to females, with phrases that include "cute" and "hunky", none of which interest me at all unless they're buying his hockey cards for all the cuteness and hunk-ism he exudes. I was hoping to sell the cards for a couple of bucks on Ebay, but I'm seeing even the cuties and hunkies are only willing to pay about a nickel. A nickel. Let's review: Rookie card, sells for a nickel. It would cost me .15cents to post it on eBay, and another .50cents if I want to include a photograph of the card. Once sold, eBay takes its cut of the profits. Then I have to put it in a .10cent protective plastic case and sleeve, place that in a $1.00 bubble-wrap mailing envelope, and pay .44cents for a stamp. Hmmmmm. Given an initial look, this might not be the money-maker I thought it would be. So I'll wish the very best to Carrie and her beau, but I'll wait until they print Carrie Underwood rookie cards before re-visiting this idea. Who knows, on a good day I might break even.

Holland America's Rotterdam is just coming out of a month-long drydock, and they've added lots of toys and goodies to this sleigh. There are Lanai rooms, a new resort-style pool called "The Retreat", where you can actually put your chaise lounge in the shallow end and enjoy dipping whatever in the water. There's a new pizzaria called Slice, a hip lounge called Mix, and they've even added some balconies and spa cabins. All cabins on board, regardless of category, got upgraded linens, new bathrooms and fixtures. In a nutshell they're just sprucing up their older ships, because even at $40million-a-pop it's 15-20 times cheaper than building a new one. And it allows them to keep the smaller-sized vessels so many people enjoy. Their older ships are also in the pipeline to have the facelift in the next few months and years, trying to compete with some of the new and future builds. Good idea.

CANADIAN JUSTICE:

From a police report in North Bay Ontario Canada, an officer was in line at a traffic light, waiting for the cars in front to move, as normal. However, he suddenly realized nothing had moved through two light changes, so he exited his vehicle and walked up to the lead car to investigate. The driver apologized for the inconvenience, but said she was not able to move on the green lights because she was still on the phone. By a new Canadian law, driving while using a cell phone is illegal, so she decided to obey the new mandate by remaining still. The officer offered her a brief "lecture," to further improve the woman's understanding of Ontario law, then issued her a citation for failure to exhibit normal traffic laws. It was a non-moving violation.

Things aren't much better in Tennessee. According to the Knoxville News-Sentinel, Vincent Salters, 46, was arrested for trying to steal numerous right shoes. Earlier in the week, Mr. Salters had come into the Shoe Show store in Knoxville, and had shoplifted a large number of display shoes, thinking he'd pair them up when he got home. To his dismay, he had dashed out so hurriedly that he failed to notice all the display shoes were for the left foot. So he returned to the Shoe Show and began asking how he might locate just right-footed shoes, when an employee became suspicious and recognized him from surveillance photos. The police were called, and Salters was arrested.

Last in today's trilogy of terror, finds us in the frozen tundra of Minnesota. Travis Himmler, 22, was charged with burglary after he allegedly stole the cash register from the Golden Wok restaurant in Bloomington, Minn. Mr. Himmler didn't own a car, so he attempted to make his getaway on a bicycle. However, he was found by police just down the street from Golden Wok, injured with multiple lacerations and head trauma, after taking a bad spill from his bicycle. It seems the cash register cord was dangling off the machine and swinging freely, and it got caught in the bike's spokes, throwing Himmler head-first into the pavement. While waiting to be booked at the Police Station, the would-be burglar decided to open up the fortune cookie he had picked up at the Golden Wok restaurant. Besides having potentially-winning lottery numbers on the back, the small piece of paper said only:

"Today you will experience love in a new way"

We can only assume...