Lions and Tiger and Bayer - OH MY!

As we're closing out 2009 (THANK GOODNESS!), some things have remained the same, while others have clearly gone a direction no one anticipated. The NFL's Detroit Lions have had the #1 or #2 draft pick for about 287 years in a row, but when the smoke clears there they are, in last place at the bottom of the heap. Another constant has been partisan bickering between Democrats and Republicans and Independents and Whigs and Frontiersmen and Whatever-other-political-association-anybody-might-have. Everyone hates everyone. No matter who you voted for, you were wrong. No matter what you believe, you're wrong. EVERYBODY SING IT WITH ME:
"I'm Proud To Be An American!"

Enough of all this sameness. Let's talk about the surprises of 2009. Golden Child Tiger Woods has been doing his best (or worst) impression of Mickey Rourke. Potentially-almost Vice-President John Edwards goes from having a silver spoon in his mouth, to having it shoved into a completely different place after ruining his reputation and lying to all of us. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford took long weekend walks to Argentina. David Letterman proved he has more in common with ex-President Bill Clinton than an affection for cigars. And now, the American Diabetes Association is set to report in January that taking a daily low-dose aspirin has risks that fail to outweigh the benefits to the heart. You know what, though? As much as I admire scientists, I'm starting to get the same feeling as when I listen to the Whigs and Senators and Representatives and Politicos - whatever I choose to do is wrong. Well, Happy Holidays to you too, dang it! While any scientist worth his salt can prove or disprove another, regardless of their level of education or history or location of their academia, I'm gonna do what I do anyway since it seems to work for me! I take my "no burps" Fish Oil every day, because it has stuff in it to make me better than I am without it. Same with my For Him 50+ Multivitamins, because Heaven knows where I'd get Niacin and Zinc without them. I also take B-Complex. Why, you ask?
I'd tell you, but it's too Complex. Hahahahaha! (Notice the self-restraint I used there, instead of saying "...it B2 Complex."?) And finally, I take my Bayer low-dose, enteric-coated aspirin which waits until after it passes through the rigors of my stomach to dissolve. I'm not sure how it knows to do that, but "enteric" must mean "knows where to go in Cap'n Bob's digestive tract." Thank you Bayer! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and so far you haven't killed me. Now if I can only figure a way to get Riboflavin without having to eat all that cereal every morning....

Airport, Scareport!

A USA TODAY review of airport food inspections, including nearly 800 restaurants at 10 major airports in the US, found some pretty amazing statistics. Items such as tuna salad and turkey sandwiches were stored at dangerously warm temperatures. Raw meat was contaminating ready-to-eat foods. Kitchens lacked soap for workers to wash their hands. It seems serious violations are common at the recent inspection points, and that ain't what we need to hear at a time of year that MILLIONS of people are passing through airports. 42% of the 57 restaurants at Seattle-Tacoma Int'l Airport had at least one "critical" violation. So did 77% of Washington's Reagan National's 35 food outlets. Grab-and-go coolers often don't keep sandwiches, salads and yogurt cold enough to stop dangerous pathogens, reports show. There are 76 million cases of food-borne illnesses annually in the U.S., according to estimates from the Center for Disease Control. Most are never traced to the source, and doing so is even harder with airport restaurants because customers scatter immediately. More badness: there were 12 cases in a 4-month period at Atlanta's Hartsfield Int'l Airport, where inspectors found "traces of rodent activity." I don't need to tell you what those traces were. Same for JFK in New York, where 11 citations were issued over an 8-month span for vermin. Bottom line, if your state has posted health inspection ratings in restaurants, they'll also appear at the airport. You may want to scan the walls before ordering, just to be as safe as possible. It makes me wonder how many people have gone on vacation and found themselves with a stomach virus, thinking they caught it in the islands or on a cruise, when the culprit may have been the airport? TIP: you can pick up Purell wipes or other hand-sanitizer cloths to carry with you in airports, helping reduce your germ intake at least a bit. And order something COOKED FRESH to minimize the risk. I know, I know, salads are good for you and meat is bad. Hey - didn't you hear me earlier? I'm taking aspirin. I live on the edge!!

SPENDING YOUR INHERITANCE for Christmas?

Police in Selma Indiana say a fifth-grader decided to "play Santa" last week, handing out money to other students riding on his elementary school bus. The problem is, we're not talking about .50cents or a buck. The un-named juvenile was handing out "approximately $300 per student," after taking nearly $10,000 from his grandparents' safe. Delaware Indiana County Sheriff George Sheridan says the boy was handing out the money on Friday, the last school day before Christmas vacation began. He explained he had wanted to do something nice for everyone, particularly those kids less fortunate than he. Amazingly, some of the children who received the money told their teachers and the principal, and the Sheriff's Department was called. Officers found the boy carrying the remainder of the cash, and both he and the money were returned to his grandparents. The bus driver, who did not receive any cash, asked "What am I - chopped liver?" Bah! Humbug!
DRIVE YOUR BUS!!